The War On Tomatoes

The war on drugs is a joke. We spend $40 billion a year, and the proof that it's a failure is that any kid can get almost any drug they want in any city in America within half an hour.
-- David Sheff, American author

 "Price of Fentanyl will rise sharply"

Pretty big talk from a ketamine addict, but okay.

That was the Unelected Billionaire Guy who self-admits he can't comprehend social interaction, and who spent $44 billion destroying Twitter to prove it, explains how another socially inept billionaire is going to socially engineer America. 

They're going to use tariffs to engineer society. 

That's right. 

You see it, don't you? 

Sure you do. 

See, Trump told his supporters tariffs were about making stuff in America, about American jobs, about lowering costs for Americans.

Trump said "tariff" was his "favorite word" and the "most beautiful word in the dictionary."

That's what he said. Those are his words.

At dozens of rallies, Trump told his supporters that he'd impose tariffs to raise federal revenue and increase jobs and manufacturing in the US.

Raise federal revenue. 

Bring back manufacturing jobs in the United States. 

That's what he told you.

“We’re going to have 10 to 20% tariffs on foreign countries that have been ripping us off for years.”

“I do like the 10% [tariff] for everybody. The problem with the 10% is that some countries are much bigger abusers than others.”

“We’re going to be a tariff nation. It’s not going to be a cost to you. It’s going to be a cost to another country”

That's what he said, over and over. 

Tariffs are about jobs, about leveling the field, about revenue. 

That's what Trump said.

But, it was all a lie. 

Of course, it was all a lie. 

That's what Trump does.

And even if he actually believed the nonsense coming out of his sagging lips, tariffs don't work like that and even the hardcore rightwing Republican economists at the Wall Street Journal will happily tell you that. 

But the lie is even bigger.

The lie isn't just that tariffs don't work the way Trump wants to you to believe they will. 

The lie is that those things were never the plan.

What Trump and his MAGA cronies intend it to socially engineer America. 

See, now that he's been elected, suddenly tariffs aren't about jobs and federal revenue.

Instead, tariffs are suddenly about punishing foreign governments for apparently not fixing America's drug problem.

Elon Musk, alleged illegal drug addict and unelected director of a dodgy new government agency, declares: "Price of Fentanyl will rise sharply"

Yes, if foreign governments decide it's somehow their job to close our border to drug traffickers, the price of illicit drugs will probably rise sharply.

But there are a lot of iffy assumptions in that statement. 

Drugs are a supply and demand market with just-in-time delivery. 

Drug dealers aren't sitting on warehouses of drugs, just in case the supply chain gets interrupted. 

So, if you cut that chain, the prices will most certainly rise.

But it's not that simple and, funny story, I happen to know more than the average American about this. 

No, I was never a drug dealer or a drug user or a drug addict. 

I was on the other side. 

I was one of those people the government sent to stop the illegal drug trade. That's right. 

I spent a lot of time down there, south of the border, hunting drug runners at no insignificant risk to myself and my team. 

And we were good at it. 

We captured many, many drug mules and literally tons of cocaine. 

Tons. 

That's me, third from the right, bottom row, no not the bald guy but the one with the psycho killer buzz cut, with the radio and the funny looking bars on my collar. We're sitting on millions of dollars of cocaine somewhere off the coast of the Galapagos Islands. That's what those black plastic covered bales are, cocaine. Millions and millions of dollars worth. 

That was one bust out of I don't even remember how many. 

We set records for the number of prisoners and drugs captured. We took tons of cocaine of the streets of America. We sent nearly a hundred cartel members and drug mules to prison. 

And the price of cocaine on the streets of America changed ... not one penny. 

It wasn't just us, it was us and a dozen other operations like ours and border patrol and the DEA and cops in every town and city doing the same job and the very same time. There were a dozen other teams out there, all sitting on similar piles of cocaine. 

And all our work, all that risk, the millions it cost to send us down there, accomplished exactly fuck all.

It didn't do a damn thing, never has and never will. 

The price of cocaine on the streets of America was unaffected. The war on drugs is a joke and we lost long ago. 

But it's more than that. 

See, the entire operation is rotten. Those charged with commanding this war? They're all in on it. They have billion dollar budgets, they fly around in commandeered DHS and Coast Guard choppers, they have every bit of high tech kit and every rugged all terrain toy you can imagine, they're tricked out in every weapon system there is, and they make hundreds of thousands a year. They don't want The War On Drugs to end, it's their lives. It makes them important and powerful and they get to push everyone else around and they get to kill people. It's makes them bad ass, full on swagger. And it makes them rich, the corrupt ones anyway, and there are plenty of those, top to bottom.

That's what you learn, hunting drug runners. 

It's all bullshit. Theater. No one wants it to end. Not the drug lords. Sure as hell, not the Drug Enforcement Agency. Americans, be they scummy lowlife street thugs or white collar stock traders, they love drugs. We don't want drugs taken off the streets. 

There are so much drugs made and flowing into the US that when my team and I took tons of coke off the street, it had zero affect on the price of cocaine on the street. 

But let's say you actually could. 

Let's say you actually could interrupt the supply to a degree that it would actually affect the price of illegal drugs for the end user. 

"Price of Fentanyl will rise sharply"

Let's say you could do that, with tariffs or otherwise. 

And the price of opioids did rise sharply. 

Just like the price of booze did when a bunch of pinch-faced religious nuts imposed Prohibition on America. 

Americans didn't stop drinking though. 

No even a little bit. 

And as a result, you got a massive increase in violent crime, a massive increase in gang violence, see Al Capone et al. We make movies about how bad it was. About how much of an utter and predictable failure Prohibition was. 

You got a massive increase in illicit booze smuggled across the border and manufactured at home.

And you got a massive increase in alcohol poisoning deaths because people were drinking everything from drain cleaner to rubbing alcohol to moonshine they made in their bathtubs. 

And a lot of people got very, very rich, some smuggling the booze, some trying to stop the smuggling of booze, either was a good gig if you could get it. 

But what you didn't get was any less drinking. 

Just like you're not going to get any less drug addicts if you manage to choke off the Fentanyl supply. They'll just shove drain cleaner (or whatever the drug equivalent is) into their veins. 

Tariffs won't stop drug addicts.

Just like the War on Drugs hasn't stopped drugs, and instead only made things worse.

Trump told us tariffs were about revenue. 

About jobs. About buying American. 

But it was always about social engineering, just like Prohibition was.

It was always about punishing us for not believing Trump's bullshit. 

And we're all going to get punished, yes, we are. 

We're all going to pay because Canada didn't stop Mexicans from smuggling Chinese made drugs so Trump could take credit and declare himself a genius hero. 

Trump is going to impose a tax on foreign nations that we will pay. 

Not the foreign nation, us. 

American drug addicts aren't going to suddenly just stop using drugs because Trump imposed tariffs. 

Just like Americans didn't stop drinking because of Prohibition.

Drug cartels aren't going to stop smuggling opioids because tomatoes cost $20 each in American grocery stores.

And that what's going to happen. Most of the tomatoes in the US come from Mexico, with Canada being the second largest supplier. 25% tariff on tomatoes, including canned and processed. You think that can be offset by increased domestic production?

Remember, that was the original promise. 

Tariffs will bring back production to America. 

So, you massively jack up the prices of imported produce and American farmers will ramp up production and reap the reward while creating millions of new jobs. 

Right?

Except, Trump plans to use the army to round up millions of produce workers and put them in concentration camps for deportation. And farmers have no idea who will pick their crops as they are, let alone any increase in acreage. I mean, Americans sure aren't going to pick produce in the boiling San Joaquin Valley sun for less than minimum wage -- and what's that going to do to former [sic] heroin addict RFK Jr's plan to make us eat more healthy? But I digress.

Tell me, what do you think that's going to do to the prices in your grocery stores? In in your local pizza place? Etc? 

Eggs? You were mad about the price of eggs, and that's why you had to vote for Trump? The US imports $44 million worth of eggs from Canada every year. And about $7 million from China. What do you think the price of eggs will be on January 21st? 

Of course, isn't really just about tomatoes. Or eggs. 

It's about everything.

You, you personally, you're going to pay out of your pocket to finance Trump's childishly petulant plan to punish foreign governments for a drug problem caused by an American pharmaceutical company that will ultimately not affect the drug addicts in any fashion. 

Just like the War on Drugs.

Just like Prohibition.

When this idiotic plan results in economic chaos and massive increase in crime, and it will, Trump will cancel the tariffs, declare the fentanyl problem fixed, China punished, the border secure, and Republicans will cheer HUZZAH! We won! We won! 

We won.

That's what they'll tell you. 

But the only thing that will have actually changed is that you are paying $20 for a tomato. 

If you can find a tomato. 

If you want to fight a war on drugs, sit down at your own kitchen table and talk to your own children.

-- Barry McCaffrey, General, US Army, Retired, former Director National Drug Control Policy

Turns Out, It Was Cancer After All

 

Last year I spent three months waiting to see if I had cancer or not.

The doctors were all pretty sure I had it. And it was going to be the kind that I probably wouldn't survive. Then, they were finally able to complete a test and I woke up from the procedure and ... didn't have cancer. Just totally didn't have it. You can go, the doctor said. We don't need to see you again for ten years.

It took me a week to even process the relief. I'm not sure I still have.

As I noted on Threads, much of yesterday felt a lot like that three months.

I was hoping for a similar outcome.

Hoping I'd wake up and all would be well.

But...

Well, now we know who's who.

Now we know who our real friends and allies are. And who isn't.

I was going to ask: So, what was it this time?

What's the excuse this time?

Was it the price of eggs?

Cost of gas at the pump?

Wait, wait, she didn't have any ground game in swing states wah wah wah? Hated her laugh?

No, it's Gaza? Yeah, it's Gaza isn't it?

What's the excuse this time? 

But, you know what? It turns out I honestly don't care. I mean, when it's terminal cancer, do you really care how you caught it?

I don't care what the excuse is this time around and ultimately, it doesn't matter anyway. Every single thing lefties claim they care about? In the end, none of it mattered enough.

And now, we've lost it all.

Donald Trump will decide our fate.

What? What's that? 

Oh, we'll fight  will we? It's not over! We...

Yeah, save it. 

Just fucking save it, I'm not interested. The cancer is too far along. 

You personally? Sure, you might have cared enough, but it turns out a lot of those we thought were on our side, those we thought would stand up for their own rights, just ... didn't. Not only didn't, but they appear to have thrown their lot in with Trump and are willing to let Elon Musk, Laura Loomer, RFK Jr, and the local Preacher Man run their lives. A lot of those women I saw in line yesterday? Apparently they did vote away their own rights. 

No, no, I'm not blaming women. I blame Americans, all of us. That's who I blame. 

I'm saying everyone knew what the stakes were, there was a record turnout and somehow 20 million less Americans voted this time and so we decided to reelect a twice impeached serial rapist currently out on bail for more than twenty felony convictions. 

Why? I don't know. The reason doesn't much matter now anyway, does it?

You again? What now?  Trump is going to what now? 

LOL. No. Trump isn't going to jail. You can forget that pipe dream. Those who prosecuted Trump? Odds are, they'll be the ones going to prison.

Merrick Garland? You tell me he had to go slow, etc. Well, he went slow and I'm not a lawyer but I goddamn well know politics and I fucking told you so for whatever that's worth. Merrick Garland might have been right, but he still failed us worse and just as deliberately than any Benedict Arnold. Slow. Fuck me. 

Oh, and all those MAGA insurrectionists Garland did lock up? 

They're free on Jan 20, 2025. With a full pardon. Because if we didn't lock up the guy who led the insurrection, well, then nothing else matters and everything Garland actually accomplished is totally moot, erased, never happened, the guy might as well have never existed. He's a nebbish, history won't even remember his name. 

And again, I did tell you so.

I told you so, but I was just pissing into the wind. 

You already knew. 

You knew. 

I have to laugh at those this morning saying "well, at least we passed abortion protection in..." Oh stop. That's the one legitimately funny bit today. Oh, you passed abortion protection and you're gonna put it in your state Constitution? Hardee har har. Yeah. Trump and these pinched faced religious nuts are going to enact a national abortion ban, yes they are, and whatever your silly little state constitution says means exactly fuck all. What are you gonna do? Appeal it to the Supreme Court? LOL. But hey, take what joy you can this morning, I guess. Laugh it up. You might not get a lot of chances for humor in the future.

We're going to see measles, polio, mumps, and the flu ravage our population again. Preventable diseases that were conquered decades ago are going to kill, blind, sterilize, and main our kids again. Me? I'm getting old, I probably won't survive whatever mismanaged pandemic comes next, unless horse dewormer up your ass actually does work this time.

They're going to drill and mine our national parks and frack our water.

They're going to tear down the wind turbines and solar panels and cook the planet.

They're going to turn the military loose on us and damn posse comitatus. The law and Constitution only matter when you elect people who respect it.

They're going to ban same sex marriage and lock up LGBTQ people as insane, just like the Germans did back in the 1930s, or worse.

They'll round and deport 20 million people and it's going to leave such a massive hole in our economy that we might never recover, but Elon says you'll be fine after a couple of years of hardship. My dear old mom used to say: you can get used to hanging if you hang long enough. We're about to find out just how true that is.

Healthcare? Social Security? Gone. Hope you got plenty of savings to support you in your old age. What's that? Oh. Well, maybe you can sell a kidney then.

They're going to impose tariffs, give tax breaks to billionaires, give Trump direct control of the Fed, and Elon control of everything else, and utterly destroy the economy. The billionaires won't suffer, but you damn sure are going to.

They're going to put guns in every school right next to mandatory Jesus.

However bad you think it's going to be, it'll be worse.

But, you knew that.

Oh sure, eventually, a decade or so down the road, after the recession and the wars and the riots and the violence, just like those who voted for the Third Reich, those who voted for Trump are gonna get screwed by the very rapist they helped elect.

And, you know, I just don't care about that either.

Sure, they'll have it coming, but if I'm still around to witness their comeuppance (an unlikely event to be sure, but maybe I'll get lucky. If you can call living in that world luck) I'll feel neither joy at their misery nor sympathy for their suffering. Fuck 'em.

See, we're all going to get screwed right alongside them, the undeserving and the guilty alike, The Good and the bad Germans both.

Not just us, but all our friends too.

The war in Ukraine is over, Putin won last night. NATO and Europe are next.

The war in Gaza isn't over and won't be for a while, but the outcome is inevitable now. But hey, at least you have your principles, right?

Taiwan? South Korea? Oh well. So sorry. Sucks to be you.

If it's any consolation, it's gonna suck to be us too.

But again, you knew this.

I'm not telling you anything you didn't already know.

We all knew, but for a lot of lefties yesterday, well... here we are.

Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. You're mad at me now for saying so.

Be mad. It'll keep you warm when the power goes out.

I wish you were mad enough yesterday to show up.

And so here we are.

Trump isn't just going to be president again. He's going to be quite literally a dictator because there is absolutely nothing to hold him back this time. We handed him the White House, the Court, the Legislature, and total immunity. It's not just this latest election, it's all the ones that came before too.

You need to face what that means.

He's going to take revenge on us. He's going to do what he said he would do. He's going to destroy everything you love. You knew that, and it wasn't enough. You're going to have to face it.

Trump is going to burn down the world and maybe that's what it'll finally take.

That's what the far left progressives shouted at me back in 2016: burn it all down. Burn it all down.

Burn it all down. Burning it all down isn't the moral high ground, it's just arson and people die in a fire, but again here we are and careful what you wish for. Because now it is all going to burn and I hope those who started this fire get everything they've got coming to them. And who knows, maybe they're right. Maybe when we're squatting in the ruins, covered ash, maybe then it'll be enough to get you to show the fuck up. Or not.

What should you do? What should any of us do?

I don't know.

I don't know. I'm out of ideas.

I'm old. I'm tired. I'm worn out from this fight. More, I'm worn out from sounding the alarm and watching it fall on deaf ears.

What to do?

Flee maybe. Get out while you can, if there's some place that'll take people who didn't give enough of a fuck about their own fate to change it when they had the chance. Hopefully Europe won't turn away desperate Americans fleeing fascism like we did to the Jews fleeing Germany back in the 1930's. But, hey, if they do, well, you can't really blame them can you?

But, again, again, and again, you knew all this.

Yes, you did. And now? Grim? Depressing? Panic attack? You knew it would come to this if you didn't show up. And it wasn't enough. Why? Why wasn't it enough? What's the excuse this time? Like I said above, I don't know and I don't care, but I'm sure we're going to hear all about it anyway and why those of us who actually did care, who sounded the alarm claxon over and over, and who actually did show up are somehow to blame.

See you in the camps.

I'll be the guy drinking prison wine with Hillary.

Raggedy Man

 

Out of the ruins
Out from the wreckage
Can't make the same mistake this time
We are the children
The last generation (the last generation, generation)
We are the ones they left behind
And, I wonder when we are ever gonna change, change

Mad Max.

The third one, I think. 

Two men enter, one man leaves, that one. The one with post apocalyptic Tina Turner -- which is mostly just regular Tina Turner, but in chainmail. Back when you could watch Mel Gibson movies without cringing. 

So, long time ago now, since that movie came out. 

But you remember. 

Anyway, despite the aforementioned Mel Gibson thing, it's still a damn good movie, if you're into Australian post nuclear war wasteland car flicks without the graphic brutality of the more recent installments. 

There's a reason I mention it. 

See, there's this one scene:

Max beat Blaster in the Thunderdome and was betrayed by his erstwhile allies. Now the whole town is after him and he's running for his life, again. Max and the Onlies, along with their former enemy Master, have busted out of Bartertown's pig shit methane factory, blowing up half the town in the process, and they're roaring down the rails through a nuclear wasteland on this slapped-together ramshackle circus train that's half truck and half locomotive with a dash of construction shack thrown in. They've got Aunty and an army of turbocharged barbarians chasing after them, hellbent on revenge. Max throws the last of the enemy warriors off the caboose and fights his way upstream to the engine where he's clinging to the outside of the door and over the roar of the motors and the wind he shouts to a guy artfully named "Pigkiller" in the driver's seat, 

"So, what's the plan?"

"PLAN?!" Pigkiller laughs incredulously. "There ain't no plan!" 

There ain't no plan. It's just ass backwards straight towards the radioactive horizon, a whoopin and a hollerin' and hopefully Bruce Spence will show up and fly us all to safety. 

That scene has stuck with me over the years and I find it's a useful metaphor far more often than you would think.

You know where I'm going with this, don't you? 

Sure you do. 

So, what's the plan? 

Here we are, hanging on for dear life, barbarians in hot pursuit, rolling ass backward through the apocalypse in a circus train full of howling mutants, and you're like, hey, let's shoot the engineer! 

Yeah, let's just shoot the guy driving the train. Good idea, right? 

So, tell me, what's the plan?

What's the plan after we shoot the engineer and toss him over the side? 

You want Biden to step down, resign, drop out of the race, go away. 

Let's face it, Ol' Creaky Joe had a good run. Sure. No one's arguing that. But after that one debate, woo, yeah, he's just dragging us down. Dead weight, man. We gotta dump him. Throw him off the train before the barbarian mutants catch us. 

Turns out Republicans were right. 

We can admit that, can't we? New York Times and the Wall Street Journal and Bernie Bros and Trump and the MAGAs were all right. It's Dementia Joe. He's just too damn old. And so here you are in my mentions, standing with Republicans and the Russians, calling for Biden to drop out. For the good of the nation. Of course. I mean, you're not an asshole. But, look at the guy. He needs a nap and a cup of hot cocoa. 

We gotta get out while we can and find us a new hero. 

Looking for something, we can rely on
There's gotta be something better out there
Ooh, love and compassion
Their day is coming (coming)
All else are castles built in the air

Right?

Right.

So, tell me, Pigkiller, what's your goddamn plan? 

We're barely four months and some change away from the most important election of your lifetime. And you want to dump the one guy who has managed to win every single election he's ever been in, and who beat Trump last time around? 

Yeah, yeah, I hear you. This Biden is a lot older than that Biden. Yep. I got it. I'm not arguing that. Biden is old. And tired. And he's slowing down. And maybe he's not as sharp as he used to be. Biden's in the back bedroom taking a nap while Trump is out golfing 18 holes and fucking 17-year-olds. That's all true, probably. 

But we're one Steve Bannon prison sentence out from the election and you're talking about handing Biden over to the mutants. 

I don't think I'm out of line here asking to see what you plan to do after that. 

We don't need another hero
We don't need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond Thunderdome

You all love military metaphors. Military terminology. 

This is war! you shout. We're in this fight to the end! We're ready for battle!

I've been to war. Couple times now. War was my profession, most of my life. I don't recommend it, but it worked for me. I know something about it. 

You know who wins wars? Who wins the battle? Who ends up victorious in the end?

The army with the plan, that's who. 

You can lose the general. You can lose the colonels and the captains and the lieutenants. Hopefully not all at once, but if you've got a good plan and you've got good people who can execute that plan, who can flex and improvise when needed, sergeants and foot soldiers who will stay the course, well, you can win. You will win, if you've got the courage to stay the course and hold the line. 

But you got to have a plan. 

Which is why we in the US military spend so much time and energy on planning. I know, I used to be a military war planner, amongst other things. 

We're all in this fight together you tell me. Great. What's your plan?

We dump Biden. Then what? 

Tell me how you spin up a full blown, fifty state, national campaign for an as-yet undetermined candidate in four months. Fully funded, fully staffed, organized, on the ground, on the air, on message, on target, in the ballots, in the debates, websites, pamphlets, buttons, slogans, yard signs, hats, bumper stickers, grassroots, in Trump's face and toe-to-toe. 

Show me your plan for that.

Come on, let's see it. 

Who's the candidate? Because liberals, lefties, progressives, democrats, can't even agree on what they already agree on -- see my aforementioned social media mentions for examples. 

Where is that candidate? Where is that plan? The one we all agree on and are ready to fully support? 

Because if you don't have that, and if you don't have that right fucking now, then you don't have a plan and you don't have a chance in hell.

All the children say
We don't need another hero
We don't need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond Thunderdome

Who's your candidate? Tell me. 

Kamala Harris?

Is it? And we're all agreed on that, right? There's not going to be any fighting. We're all going to fall in line behind Kamala Harris, are we? 

Heh, heh. Sure. 

I like Harris. I'd vote for her. In fact, I liked her a lot better than Biden. Biden wasn't even in my top three, back in the day. I'd to love to see a woman of color as president, though that's not the reason I'd vote for her. That said, is Harris who we all agree on? Is she?

No, of course not. 

No, we don't agree. 

No, instead we're going to argue. We're going to argue bitterly even though we don't have the time for it. And we're going to argue and argue and argue some more while Trump is out there campaigning and mocking Democrats in disarray -- and he won't be wrong. 

Some of us are not going to accept the results no matter who ends up the candidate. 

And don't tell me you will, because you won't. 

And you won't because you don't get to choose Biden's replacement. 

The primaries are over. 

The delegates are already pledged. 

You had your vote.  

Didn't think of that, did you? 

There's no time. There's no mechanism for a do-over primary. If we're going to replace Biden, we have to do it now and democracy just isn't fast enough, even if liberals could actually agree on anything. 

So, any replacement will perforce be selected by the party and you are not going to get any say in it.

You good with that? 

Are you really? 

Those of you still seething about the "anointment" of Hillary Clinton over Bernie Sanders? You're going to be good with the Democratic National Committee picking your candidate for you? Really? And the rest of you? Are you really going to be good with the party apparatus telling you who you're going to vote for in the general election? 

Don't blow smoke up my ass and call it beef jerky.

We'll lose right there. 

Some of you will be madder about that than you are about Trump taking away your rights. And you'll stay home, just like you did last time and we'll lose right there. 

Might as well just hand the keys over to King Trump and hidey ho yourself down to the nearest concentration camp. 

So, what do we do with our lives
We leave only a mark
Will our story shine like a light or end in the dark?
Give it all or nothing

And then there's the rest of it. 

The practical aspects of changing horses midstream without drowning. 

And the legal aspects. And the political ones. 

As I noted up above, there is no national campaign for any other candidate. You'll have to create one from scratch, overnight, in fifty states. It's not just a matter of changing the names, there are legal aspects to it. Campaign finance law for one. Campaign filings with the state, ballot issues, and so on. And not every campaign staffer who supports Biden is going to support the new candidate -- for whatever reason. So you're going to need to hire at least some new people. 

Where are you going to get the money? 

No. No. Don't look away. Don't roll your eyes. Where you gonna get the money? 

See, while it's possible that Biden's campaign war chest, those millions and millions of dollars, could be legally transferred to Harris, because she's already on the ticket with him, it's never been done before. There will most certainly be legal challenges -- by the Trump campaign if not various Democrats -- tying up that money for some period of time, maybe a long period of time. 

And if the candidate is not Harris, well, then that money very likely can't be transferred and a new non-Harris candidate would have raise all new money themselves. Which takes us right back to the previous paragraph: How are you going to spin up a nationwide campaign across fifty states fast enough and powerful enough to challenge Trump without any money at first and when you can't just change the names on the Biden Campaign offices? 

PACs? 

Well, about that, Political Action Committees that accept money for one candidate can't just use it for another without certain legal issues. Now, a PAC can become a multicandidate PAC, but the rules for doing so are complex and have to meet pretty specific federal and state election requirements. You think you can do that in a couple of days? Fast enough to spin up a campaign in time? Across fifty states? Well enough to avoid legal challenges? Do you really? 

Show me that plan. 

No money. No campaign.

Yes, I see you. Rolling your eyes. In the back there. 

You can wave your hands all you like, but you still have to answer the question. You still have to adhere to campaign finance law. You still have to have money to get elected. And you have to do it in such a manner that the other side, the one infamous for suing people and trying to overthrow elections, can't legally challenge you on it and de facto kill your campaign before you even start. 

You have to have a plan to address all the legal requirements. Where is it? 

States are already printing ballots and programming election equipment. It's a process. It's a long legal process and it has to be in order to prevent election fraud -- and to be able to withstand scrutiny when someone like Trump accuses the process of fraud in court. 

There may not be time to swap out candidates. 

Particularly in red states run by Trump supporters who don't want there to be time and who would love nothing better than Trump running unopposed in their state. 

There are thousands of details like this, some legal, some practical, some political.  

Some are solvable in time. 

Many are not -- even if you did have a plan, and you don't. 

Folks, we're on a runaway train, barreling through the wasteland, chased by mutants, ass backwards into the unknown. This isn't the time to throw the Engineer over the side. Yes, in this metaphor, Max was without doubt the far better driver and Pigkiller was crippled by a hole blown through his thigh. But you don't change the hand on the wheel in the middle of an escape and you need to remember that when it was all going to hell and they were neck deep in manure, it was Pigkiller who fired up the engine and got them all the hell out of bondage. No, this isn't the time to replace the Engineer. This is the time when you grit your teeth, put the hammer down all the way to the goddamn floor, cock your pistol, and ride full throttle for the horizon. 

Biden may or may not win. That's up to you. 

But you pull Biden off the ballot now, and Trump most certainly will. 

See you around, Soldier. 

And, I wonder when we are ever gonna change, change
Living under the fear, 'til nothing else remains
All the children say
We don't need another hero
We don't need to know the way home
All we want is life beyond Thunderdome
-- Tina Turner, We Don't Need Another Hero

The Republic Is Dead, Long Live The Republic

 

 

Poor man wanna be rich
Rich man wanna be king
And a king ain't satisfied
'till he rules everything
-- Bruce Springsteen, Badlands

Thus ends The Republic.

Hail! Mr. President.

It should never have come to this, 

But, hey, at least democracy was fun while it lasted.

I made a pithy comment. 

A couple of them actually, as is my wont. 

Well, maybe not so much pithy as bitterly sardonic observations on yesterday's Supreme Court Ruling. 

Here's one:

I'm not a lawyer, so I'm not sure how this works, but basically Biden is President For Life now, right? So, does Biden just "officially" cancel the election or do we have to break some windows and beat up cops first?

Sarcasm, right? 

Obviously a reference to January 6th, 2021 and the violent actions of the then president and his howling rabble. A reference to that president's impeachment and the legal troubles he finds himself in (for now). 

Right? Obviously. 

Meta, the platform behind Facebook, Instagram, and Threads, removed it. 

"It looks like you shared or sent something that could encourage violence and lead to risk of physical harm, or a direct threat to public safety."

I beg your pardon? I did what now? 

"This goes against our Community Guidelines on violence and incitement."

Community guidelines on violence and incitement, you say? 

I literally laughed out loud. 

Literally laughed loud enough to scare the dog out of a sound sleep. 

Hilarious. 

Absolutely fucking hilarious.

Meta removed a number of similar posts from my various timelines. And it just kept getting funnier to me. 

Funny ha ha, but also funny ironic. 

You see, Mark Zuckerberg has higher standards against incitement of violence and threats to the public safety than the Supreme Court. 

Mark Zuckerberg. That Mark Zuckerberg. That Facebook. That Meta. 

Hilarious.

And what's even funnier is that I've now faced more consequences for allegedly inciting violence against the Republic than Donald Trump has or ever will -- because he's now officially immune from the consequences of his own actions and I as a mere plebe of the Imperium am most assuredly not. 

Quod Erat Demonstrandum and Hail! Caesar. 

Somewhere right now, up there in Republican heaven, Richard Milhous Nixon is swearing bitterly and staring down in utter disbelief at those who called John Roberts a "moderate conservative."

And, yeah, while that's probably hyperbole, the truth of the matter is the Roberts Court would have let Tricky Dick get away with it. 

And the really ironic part here is that this Republican Supreme Court hasn't just sounded the death knell of The Republic by making the president Caesar, immune from the law and from the consequences of his own actions, but the Court has effectively killed itself. 

I mean, what's the point of a Legislative or Judicial Branch when the Executive has unlimited power and absolute immunity?

The checks and balances of the American government are now effectively null and void, because with absolute executive immunity comes absolute immunity from both the Court and from Congress. 

And that's exactly what this ruling does. 

But then again, what would you expect from a Court that has no enforceable ethical code of conduct and refuses to even consider one? 

The majority opinion, penned by Roberts himself alleges the founders of this country, the Framers of the Constitution, those men who'd just fought a bloody war of rebellion to free themselves from a monarch utterly immune from accountability and the law, actually envisioned an Executive who would likewise be immune from the law and accountability but is also somehow not a king. 

Ur?

Never mind, he's rollin'

The opinion uses words like “vigorous,” “energetic," "decisive," and "speedy execution” of the president's duty to "faithfully execute" the law -- something the president has been able to do for 248 years, through multiple wars and myriad national emergencies, somehow without having absolute immunity. 

But today in this new age, apparently the law cannot be executed vigorously, energetically, decisively, or in a speedy fashion if the president actually has to obey the law he's "faithfully" executing. 

Explain to me how the guy charged with enforcing the law should be immune from it. 

Explain it to me like I'm not a lawyer. Go ahead. 

Why does this only apply to Presidents? Why shouldn't attorney generals be likewise immune from the law, or the police, or Supreme Court Justices ... okay, those are bad examples but I think I've made my point here. 

The President must have “absolute immunity” for any “official act within his exclusive sphere of constitutional authority," reasons the Chief Justice.

Now, again, I'm not a lawyer, but I noticed that the Chief Justice and his conservative Trump-appointed coconspirators on the Court didn't bother to define "official acts." That seems a strange omission, doesn't it? If they didn't define official acts, who does? The president? And Republicans don't see this as problematic?

But of course they wouldn't, would they? 

But wait, there's more. 

The opinion also offers up something called “presumptive immunity.” 

Now, you'd think "absolute immunity" would cover it. If you have absolute immunity, how much more immunity do you need? That's pretty much what "absolute" means, isn't it?

Ha ha. No. 

According to John Roberts, the President also gets "presumptive immunity" for any action that falls outside his "official" duties, but within “the outer perimeter of his official responsibility.” 

So there's official official and then there's also some other sort of official that's less official but also still official. 

See? That's why I'm not a lawyer. 

Anyway, this presidenting gig sounds like good work if you can get it. 

As in the above decision regarding absolute immunity for official acts, the court doesn't provide any definition of "outer perimeter of official responsibility" or what non-official official duties might fall into it. 

Confused? 

It gets better, because Roberts goes on to say that this presumptive immunity for acts taken in the outer perimeter of officialdom might actually be absolute immunity after all, but “we need not decide that question today.” 

So, we've determined there are official acts that get absolute immunity and there are less official acts that get presumptive immunity, but those less official acts might actually be official acts and entitled to absolute immunity instead of presumptive immunity but we don't have to actually spell out what any of those acts actually are today because something something gazpacho and the lower courts will just figure it out. Probably.

I'll pause for a minute so you can wipe at the blood which is no doubt running from you ear about now. 

Unofficial acts, says Roberts, are not entitled to immunity, presumptive or absolute. 

Oh, well, that's good. 

We can hold the President accountable for unofficial acts. 

Unofficial acts.

Unofficial. 

The president can be held accountable for unofficial acts.

Heh heh. Riiiight. 

When the president does it, that means it is not illegal!
-- Richard Nixon, 1977

Guess what? Turns out, Nixon was right. 

If absolute immunity is only for official acts, then immunity is always going to be absolute because you can bet that when the president does it, whatever it is, it's always -- always -- going to be "official."

Bet on it. 

You know why? Because the same court who made this decision, will make that one too. 

And thus, the president can't be indicted and he can't be impeached. 

There is no longer any Constitutional or governmental method of restraining a president. 

And there is now no accountability to the American people whatsoever, not even voting if a president choses to "officially" ignore an unfavorable election and order his VP to change the results. That is exactly what the Supreme Court just said. This is quite literally the crux of this entire argument. That's what started all of this, a president who refused to accept the results of the election and who attempted to nullify those results through violence in order to seize power. Those are now official acts and immune from the law. 

Up above I said I'd made a number of comments on social media that were later removed. 

Here's another one:

When they line us up in front of that ditch they made us dig in the field outside the concentration camp gates, just before one of Supreme General Mike Flynn's Hauptsturmführers gives the order to fire, I'll be the guy who smacks you in the back of the head and snarls "I FUCKING TOLD YOU SO."

The post got several hundred responses.

-- You won't get the chance, I won't be there. I'm going for their throats with my bare teeth when they show up to "detain me for reeducation". They're going to have to shoot in the street in front of my own house in front of everybody.

-- I won't get there. I will take a few with me first.

-- Before that happens, I'm going to take out as many of those single helix mutant pieces of shit neckbeards as possible. You're welcome to join me. I will not go quietly.

-- Im not going down without taking a few of them with me.. jfs

-- I’ll be the girl who turns around and storms the bad guys. They may kill me, but I’ll go down fighting.

There were many, many more in the same spirit, I was in the process of recording them when Threads took the post down and I lost access to the feed. 

We'll go down fighting! 

Yeah. Great. Cool. I admire your spirit. War is fun. You're gonna love it. But the thing is, we wouldn't have to die fighting -- if you all showed the same grit at the ballot box. 

Now, I'm not saying that those who shouted defiance up above didn't themselves vote. They follow me, they likely did. 

But a lot of Americans didn't. 

And they won't this time either -- despite their promise to go down fighting. 

It should never have come to this and where does that leave us? 

If the president does it, it's official. And if it's official then the president can't be impeached and he can't be indicted and he can't be convicted and he can't be held accountable to the people. He is, de facto, Caesar. 

Or Vladimir Putin. Pick you poison. 

That is literally Trump's entire argument. 

Everything he did in office is official. He can't be impeached for it, he can't be prosecuted for it, and he fully intends to do it again, until he really is Caesar, or Putin. 

And the Court said, Okay. 

I'm not a lawyer, don't take my word for it. Instead listen to what Justice Sotomayor said:

The Court effectively creates a law-free zone around the President, upsetting the status quo that has existed since the Founding. … When he uses his official powers in any way, under the majority’s reasoning, he now will be insulated from criminal prosecution. Orders the Navy’s Seal Team 6 to assassinate a political rival? Immune. Organizes a military coup to hold onto power? Immune. Takes a bribe in exchange for a pardon? Immune. Immune, immune, immune.

Let the President violate the law, let him exploit the trappings of his office for personal gain, let him use his official power for evil ends. Because if he knew that he may one day face liability for breaking the law, he might not be as bold and fearless as we would like him to be.

That is the majority’s message today. 

Even if these nightmare scenarios never play out, and I pray they never do, the damage has been done. The relationship between the President and the people he serves has shifted irrevocably. In every use of official power, the President is now a king above the law.

We probably could have avoided a lot of trouble and been much further ahead if we'd just paid our taxes, drank our tea, and knuckled under to King George III. 

If nothing else, at least we'd have universal healthcare today. 

So, where does that leave us? 

Beyond guillotines and the Second Amendment, I mean.  

November. 

That's where it leaves us. 

We have one chance to fix this without bloody war and revolution, and even that is a dicey proposition. 

I lied up above. War isn't fun. Killing people is terrible. It's dirty and it's ugly and it's fucking horrifying and if you survive you'll never ever get the smell of death out of your brain. Ever. We're out of options. You don't get the luxury of sitting this one out or throwing away your vote because you don't like the choices. And bluntly, if you don't have what it takes to show up and vote, you probably don't have what it takes to pick up a gun and fight tyranny on the battlefield either. 

It should never have come to this. 

You want want a better nation, you're going to have to be better citizens. 

With fear for our democracy, I dissent.
-- Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor

Galloping Bullshit

 

The amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce it.
-- Brandolini's Law, also: The Bullshit Asymmetry Principle

I can't say I'm surprised. 

The debate was ugly right from the introductions. 

Bash and Tapper looked like they were presiding over an execution. 

Biden started out with a persistent cough and sounded like he had a cold. To be brutally honest, his age was very much on display. 

And there was Trump with what has become his trademark scowl and angry victim demeaner. 

No one was in good humor, none of them looked like they wanted to be there. 

And it didn't take long to realize The Press was going to fail democracy once again. 

I was live posting on Threads and I think my first comment thirty seconds in set the tone for the rest of the night.

The moderators went after Biden first thing. 

President Biden, inflation has slowed, but prices remain high. Since you took office, the price of essentials has increased. For example, a basket of groceries that cost $100, then, now costs more than $120. And typical home prices have jumped more than 30 percent. What do you say to voters who feel they are worse off under your presidency than they were under President Trump?

Biden's answer was predictable. He immediately put the onus on Trump, 

We’ve got to take a look at what I was left when I became president, what Mr. Trump left me...

Biden talked about the economy in freefall, the Pandemic and how Trump mishandled it, dying people, injecting bleach, etc. The economy collapsed, no jobs, unemployment at 15 percent. Terrible. 

Then Biden talked about how "we" had to put things back together again, 15,000 new jobs. 800,000 manufacturing jobs. More to be done. Working class people still in trouble. Biden mentioned he was from a working class family in Scranton, PA. Price of eggs. Price of gas. Price of housing. All those things are personal to him. And he's working hard to bring prices down, cap rents, rein in corporate greed, bring down the price of prescription drugs, cap the prince of insulin for seniors, etc. 

In addition to that, we’re in a situation where if you had to take a look at all that was done at his administration, he didn’t do much at all. By the time he left, there’s – things were in chaos, literally chaos.

That's a good answer. 

Here. On the screen. 

But Biden had something going on with his voice. A cold. An incipient cough. A frog in his throat. And even though it was a good answer, it came out feeble and weak. 

No. 

Stop. 

If you watched, you know I'm right. Biden looked old. There's no way around that. Pretending otherwise isn't going to help. 

I warned you about this. 

Debates are not about fact. Debates are theater. No one watches debates for polite exchanges by reasonable people. You watch a debate for the same reason you watch NASCAR or reality TV or the WWF.

Debates are about appearance. 

Let me give you an example. Many years ago I was participating in a cookoff. Chili. Now, I'm pretty good at it. I've won awards for my recipe, I've won a number of contests here and there over the years and I've got the trophies to prove it. But the rules of this contest were different, they allowed for toppings to be added after the initial test tasting. So, after the initial sampling, one of the judges added sour cream and cheese to his bowl. That changed the color of my entry from rich dark red to a light orange. 

Which he then gleefully announced looked like "baby shit." 

Tasted great, he said. First place, taste wise. But it looked like baby shit. Baby shit. Baby shit. He kept saying it. 

Didn't matter that he's the one who changed the appearance. 

Didn't matter that he wasn't deliberately trying to prejudice the results. 

Didn't matter that he thought the taste was first place. 

What mattered was "baby shit."

(I learned later that he and his wife recently had become parents and that likely influenced his comments)

And from that point forward, I was doomed to lose because no matter how good my chili tasted, the only thing the other judges would remember was "baby shit." 

Biden was right. He gave a good answer. It was obvious he was prepared, knew the right things to say, where to put the blame, he used "we" instead of "I" in all the right places. 

But it was baby shit. 

He looked weak and feeble. He kept clearing his throat. He was too quiet -- yes, likely working around his disability, and the ableism that will no doubt be the subject of the New York Times editorials for the next month is certainly something we should talk about. Nevertheless there it was. And there it was immediately on every livestream that I was following, left and right and those pretending impartiality. 

It's about perception.

And once someone puts "baby shit" into the public consciousness, well, no matter how good the recipe tastes you're going to lose. 

And that's how it started. Right there. 

At first, Trump was restrained. 

Well, restrained for Trump. He was likely coached to rein it in. To adhere to the rules. To avoid wandering off into a discussion of sharks and batteries and his unhinged lunacy. 

His answers were the usual nonsense, every declaration ending in "the likes of which we've never seen." Which is the only time he uses "we" and not "I." He was mad, obviously so, glowering like an old 1970s red leather chair that's faded over the years to the color of blotchy orange baby shit. 

He has not done a good job. He has done a poor job. And inflation’s killing our country. It is absolutely killing us.

But in contrast to Biden, well, Trump seemed on his game. 

It was fucking ugly. 

And it did indeed get uglier. 

It was a shoving match between two old angry men who hate each other. 

Biden started to find his footing, but it didn't take long for Trump to lose any appearance of restraint and go full Trump. 

Thirty minutes in and on the subject of abortion and Trump was running roughshod over the debate rules, as expected. Tapper and Bash were trying to hold him down, but by then Trump was wielding a machinegun of rapid-fire bullshit, spraying obvious lies -- and accidental obvious truths that his handlers probably wished he hadn't, like this beauty: 

Like Ronald Reagan, I believe in the exceptions, I am a person that believes. And frankly, I think it’s important to believe in the exceptions. Some people, you have to follow your heart, some people don’t believe in that. But I believe in the exceptions for rape, incest, and the life of the mother. I think it’s very important. Some people don’t. Follow your heart. But you have to get elected also and – because that has to do with other things. You’ve got to get elected. The problem they have is they’re radical because they will take the life of a child in the eighth month, the ninth month, and even after birth – after birth.

I believe in exceptions, but you've got to get elected (and obviously with Republicans and fanatical evangelicals you can't do that by supporting abortion in any form), so now I'm going to immediately lie about Democrats wanting to kill babies after they're born.

Where do you start?

How do you respond? 

Because that was the dismount after two full minutes of absolute bullshit starting with Trump declaring 

Fifty-one years ago, you had Roe v. Wade, and everybody wanted to get it back to the states, everybody, without exception, Democrats, Republicans, liberals, conservatives. Everybody wanted it back. Religious leaders.

Everyone. Democrats. Liberals. Everyone wanted Roe v. Wade overturned. 

Now that is obvious bullshit. Utter nonsense. That never happened. And what followed was even more obvious bullshit, a whole barnyard of bullshit. 

But where do you start?

Trump got two full minutes to spray this firehose of bullshit, falsehood after falsehood, and Biden got one minute to respond, followed by Trump getting another full minute of rebuttal. 

It's called the Gish Gallop. 

It's a rhetorical technique used to defeat normal debate rules. It's where you overwhelm your opponent with bullshit, that is an excessive number of arguments with no regard for the accuracy or strength of those arguments. Quantity, not quality. A dozen subjects, related or not. There's no way to remember it all it, let along counter it in the time allotted. It was named for Duane Gish, a creationist who in any debate with actual evolutionary scientists would spew rapid fire nonsense, making a coherent response next to impossible in any sort of live debate format. Creationists in the audience didn't care about the words, they were there to see those snooty God hating scientists get owned. It's the same here. 

Trump isn't doing it on purpose, or rather I mean Trump isn't doing it as some sort of learned discipline. Trump does it because that's who he is -- an endless source of high pressure liquid bullshit. 

There was no way for Biden or CNN to address each of Trump's lies in the established format of the debate. It's not possible for anyone. That's why the gallop works. 

Biden should have been ready for it.

Yes, Biden should have been ready for it, because this is what Trump does. He does it every time. In every conversation. In every rally. In every speech. In every debate. Biden should have been ready for it. There are tactics for countering the Gish Gallop and Biden should have been prepared. His handlers should have prepped him. He should have practiced those techniques. 

Anyone who engages Trump should be ready for it.

Because Trump is a one trick pony. That's all he's got. Galloping bullshit. 

It's not all on Biden. CNN bears plenty of blame here too, as does the rest of The Press who are already this morning declaring Trump's victory in the lede and burying the cautionary caveats far, far down in the text that no one reads. 

CNN should have been fact checking in real time. 

Yes, there are those who would have protested fact checking as prejudicial to their candidate. 

So? 

That's what happens when your guy spews lie after lie. 

The point of presidential debates, allegedly, is to provide the voting public with the information they need to make an informed decision at the polls. That is the reason why The Press is the only private enterprise granted a specific enumerated right in the Constitution. The Press's responsibility is to democracy, to the Republic, not to any particular ideology or political party -- otherwise they don't deserve Constitutional protection. And if the fascism they're enabling gets into power, they'll be the first ones against the wall. 

CNN should have been fact checking in real time, both for Trump and for Biden. Failure to do so is a dereliction of duty. No one gives a shit about fact checking the debate a day later. If you're trying to influence voters, what matters is the moment. That's what people remember. 

Biden should have been prepared for Trump's galloping bullshit. 

Biden should have stuck to his strengths: intellect, the political zinger and above all, humor. 

Everyone involved looked grim. But Biden, well, he's got a great sense of humor. He can mock his opponent without being mean. He can make the other guy look ridiculous without effort, he's been doing it for 40 years in Congress and it was apparent from Republican panic before the debate, that's exactly what they expected him to do. 

But he didn't. 

It's water under the bridge now. 

It's not a disaster. 

Obama bombed his first debate. 

But he got himself elected twice in a landslide. 

I doubt this will have much impact on the election. 

Four years ago, you said "Vote blue no matter who" and "I'd vote for a ham sandwich with rancid mayonnaise over Trump."

We elected Biden to be not Trump and it turns out the ham sandwich has done a pretty decent job. 

Nothing has changed in that regard. 

What has changed is this: the damage Trump did continues to echo years after he left office. The chaos he caused continues to swirl. We're going to have to not only stop and reverse those effects, we have to completely undo it, before we can get back to where we were -- let alone make any progress. Exactly as you were repeatedly warned. And yes, I am talking about the Supreme Court, along with many other things. And again, you were warned over and over and over again. And here we are. 

The debate didn't change that. 

You're faced with the same choices and it doesn't matter if you don't like them, they are the choices.

Now, we can either keep slogging forward, up hill, knee deep in stinking bullshit, or we can give up and lay down and drown in it. 

Same as it ever was. 

I wish Biden was better at debates, but he's not and that's just how it is. 

I wish Trump was a better human being, but he's very much not and he's never going to be, and the odds are he's going to get even worse if we let him back into power. 

Your choices haven't changed. 

The danger hasn't changed, it's only gotten worse.

The people whose lives we must protect, that hasn't changed. 

Our duty to the Republic, to democracy, to the future we leave our children, that hasn't changed. 

The man Biden is, and the man Trump most certainly isn't, well, that hasn't changed. 

Who wins or loses the debate doesn't matter. 

Who wins the election does. 

And you are the one who will decide. 

A good leader can engage in a debate frankly and thoroughly, knowing that at the end he and the other side must be closer, and thus emerge stronger. You don't have that idea when you are arrogant, superficial, and uninformed.
-- Nelson Mandela

Chess With A Pigeon

 

A man you can bait with a tweet is not a man we can trust with nuclear weapons.
-- Hillary Clinton

Has Donald Trump pulled out yet?

That's a Stormy Daniels reference. 

Ba dump bump!

Huh? Huh?

Okay. Sorry, to start out with a dick joke, but I'm jacked up on espresso this morning. 

But, seriously, has Trump pulled out of the debate yet? 

It's fascinating watching Republicans frantically opening an escape route for Trump to bail out of the confrontation that Trump himself demanded.

“Ready and Willing to Debate Crooked Joe”

“I would strongly recommend more than two debates and, for excitement purposes, a very large venue, although Biden is supposedly afraid of crowds. That’s only because he doesn’t get them!”

“Just tell me when, I’ll be there. ‘Let’s get ready to Rumble!!!'”

That was Trump, a month ago on his Truth Social platform, full of the usual piss and vinegar and greasy bravado. Anytime! Anywhere! 

Let's get ready to ruuuuummmble!

But a funny thing happened on the way to the debates.

Joe Biden accepted the challenge. 

Careful what you wish for, I guess. 

At first, Trump and his advisors were practically drooling at the idea of Trump and Biden facing off again in front of America. 

And why wouldn't they, right? 

Trump would be in his element. Loud. Off script and off the leash. Overbearing. Bullying. Full of bravado and mean little insults. 

The crowd loves that. 

I mean, no one watches racing to see cars go around in a circle. It's the crashes, the flaming death, the tires flying into the crowd, that's what we're waiting for. Otherwise you might just as well set up a lawn chair next to the highway. 

That's why Americans watch debates.

Spectacle. Death. Destruction. 

That's Trump. You can't shut him up. He won't follow the rules. He won't stay on his side of the stage. You're not watching him for the statesmanship!

Hell, Trump himself referenced professional wrestling in his challenge. Let’s get ready to Rumble!!! That's what the MAGAs want to see, Trump coming after Biden, verbally, physically, mentally. Bam! Bam! Socko! And give him the chair! Give him the chair! 

Right? 

Show! Spectacle! Bread and circuses. 

Except...

Except then Trump's inner circle started remembering how Biden has been doing this for 40 years. And maybe he's lost a step or two, but he's a professional. 

And Trump sure as hell isn't. 

Biden's got a pretty thick skin. 

And Trump? Well, like the lady said "A man you can bait with a tweet..." 

And then guys like Steve Bannon and Ronny Jackson started thinking about what's going to happen when Joe Biden, who's been doing this for 40 years, baits Trump into going off on some unhinged rant about, oh, say, pants?

"...a lot of people say to me today the toughest business people, people that you know about, could I ask you a question, how do you do it? I say do what? How do you get up in the morning and put your pants on? Why do you put those pants on, I'll explain it to you some day. How do you do it, how do you get up, how do you do it?"

Or this

"They say, oh, he's talking about, he's talking about Silence of the Lambs. And I say the late Great Hannibal Lecter. Oh, he likes Hannibal Lecter. No, they're crazy. I walk into a wall purposely. I look at that wall. Oh, that's, that's perfect. Sometimes they don't have a wall. You're free standing. It doesn't. But I imitate him and I, I, you know, walk into a wall and the next day they write, Donald Trump could not find his way off the stage. So I don't even do it anymore"

Or this

“How about George Washington high school? ‘Oh we want the name removed from that high school.’ They don’t know why. You know, they thought he had slaves. Actually I think he probably didn’t.’”

 Or this

"I said, 'Dana, I have an idea. Why don't you set up a migrant league of fighters! And have your regular league of fighters. And then you have the champion of your league, these are the greatest fighters in the world, fight the champion of the migrants?!'"

Or imagine what happens if Biden brings up this Trump idea?

"What I will do is this: you graduate from a college, I think you should get automatically, as part of your diploma, a green card to be able to stay in this country, and that includes junior colleges.”

And that was Trump just this week. 

Biden, he might be slowing down, but nobody needs to worry about him going off into crazyland, ranting about sharks and batteries and handing out free green cards. 

Now, sure, Trump's cultish supporters love him even harder the more insane he gets. They don't understand most of the world anyway. They don't understand science or geopolitics or even how to manage a 4-way stop without killing themselves. When experts talk, they don't understand anything, the words mean nothing, they don't have the education or the intelligence to comprehend and they don't have the intellectual curiosity to find out. So, when Trump doesn't make sense, it sounds the same and they assume he must be a genius too. 

They resent the experts for making them feel stupid. 

They love Trump because he hates the experts just like they do. 

He connects to them on an emotional level. He makes it okay for them to be stupid and hateful and proudly ignorant. They don't see some ridiculous story about sharks and batteries, instead they feel a mean little sense of belonging because Trump is up there mocking the things they don't understand,. They're toadies to the bully and it makes them feel good about themselves. 

But, that only works if Trump is allowed to ignore the rules, dominate the microphone, and bully his opponent by repeatedly interrupting and pandering to a live audience for mean little laughs and spiteful cheers. 

That's Trump's only strength. 

Trump can't win on policy, he doesn't have any. 

Trump can't win on his record, and certainly not on his party's record, and the less said about that the better.

Trump can't win on the issues, he has no idea what they are and doesn't care. 

Trump can only win if he's a bully. And that's what his supporters want. That show. It makes them feel good about themselves. 

Trump doesn't know any other way, because that's the only thing that's worked for him his entire life, from sexual partners to business partners. He's a bully, that's his only trick. 

Then the rules for the debate came out.

Rules that Trump's own people agreed to. Just like that trial in New York, the one that convicted Trump of 34 felonies, Trump's own lawyers agreed to the jury.

Just like Trump's campaign agreed to muted microphones. No live studio audience. No notes. No sitting. Just a pen, paper, and a water bottle on the stage. That's it. 

Trump only agreed to those rules because he has absolutely no intention of adhering to them. I doubt he even listened when CNN was laying it out, just like he slept through jury selection. 

Trump has never adhered to the rules. And why should he? His entire life, America has repeatedly made it pretty damn obvious that the rules don't apply to Donald J. Trump. Trump has never, ever, not once been held to account. Sexual assault? Fraud? Treason? Sedition? He gets out of it all. Why would he even consider following the rules this time? 

Except, well, maybe he's going to have to and that's when Republicans started to get scared.

That's when Trump's campaign started looking for the exit. 

That's when they started lining up their excuses.

It's obvious Trump supporters have absolutely no confidence in their flabby ill-prepared addlepated fly-haired messiah. 

Republicans are so convinced of Trump's weakness when he has to follow the rules, that they are literally terrified of an old man with a can of Mountain Dew. 

And they should be. 

So, I won't be entirely surprised if Trump bails out at the last minute. 

I'm sure that's what his inner circle is telling him to do. 

Get out. Cut and run while you can. Claim the whole thing is rigged, his dipshit supporters will buy that, of course. Accuse Biden of cheating. Declare victory. It'll work. 

I'm sure that's what they're telling him right now. 

But he won't. 

Trump will show up. Confident that he can ignore the rules and do what he always does. All bluster and bombast, insults and zingers, and the swaggering bully. Trump has never in his entire life been able to walk away from a TV camera or a microphone. He doesn't have the intellect or the self-control. 

He's not going to fake a heart attack. No, he'll be there. 

He can't help it. 

He's not going to listen to his advisors. They'd have to shoot him with a tranquilizing dart and throw a net over him to keep him from that stage. 

Let's get ready to rumble! 

Show. Spectacle. Entertainment for the masses. 

That's how Trump sees everything. 

That's how his supporters see it. 

That's how far too many Americans see it. 

Debates are not about the issues. It's not about facts and knowledge. It's not about competence or ability. 

It's not a job interview. 

It's spectacle. 

And that's what Donald Trump is good at. It's the only thing he's good at. That's why he's going to "win" the debate, or thinks he will anyway. 

(Note: win is in quote marks)

It doesn't matter how goddamn insane he is. How stupid. How bizarre. How incoherent. How obnoxious. How much he contradicts himself or how much he lies. He could pull down his diaper and shit on the stage. 

No matter what happens on that stage tonight, Trump will declare victory and The Press will go along with it. 

Because it's just spectacle. It won't change anyone's mind. You all know who you're voting for.

Oh, I see you. 

In the back, waving your hand, red in the face. 

What about the undecideds?! I hear you shout. What about them? Huh?

What about them?

Who told you there was some huge pool of undecided voters left in America? Was it the people selling debates for profit? Was it them? Was it the press who interviews a thousand people firm in their decision until they get to Cat Piss Guy and that's who they put on TV?

If you're undecided at this point, the odds are pretty damn good you're not going to show up anyway. If you don't care enough to have picked a side by now, you're not going to be watching the debate anyway. 

I asked my audience on social media: At this point in any election, has a debate ever changed your mind?

At this point in the process have you ever been undecided?

Have you really?

Across my social media platforms I got thousands of responses. 

Every single one of them: no. 

Five thousand people told me: At this point in the election, no debate has ever changed my mind. 

Now, I will admit that's hardly a scientific poll. Those people follow me, most of them. They're engaged. They've chosen a side long ago, that's likely why they follow me -- it sure ain't for my charming personality. 

Still, I have to wonder why we all think others are any less committed to their beliefs? 

Or lack of belief?

The armies are arrayed, the battlelines are drawn, and everyone who plans on fighting has chosen sides. 

Tonight the next president of the United States will take the stage and if you haven't already figured out what kind of future you're voting for, well, I doubt this spectacle will make much of a difference. 

Unless you're running a high school debating team, debates are a lousy way to choose a leader. 

But they're a great way to keep the population entertained.

The people who once upon a time bestowed military commands, high civil offices, legions, and everything else, now restrains itself, and instead, eagerly hopes for just two things: bread and circuses
-- Juvenal, Poet of Ancient Rome