Happy Kittens Fart Sunshine

It began with a fight on the Stonekettle Station Facebook Group.

Then moved to a direct message:

"It's impossible to have any kind of disagreement with your other followers without someone shooting Russian troll accusations around."

Well, maybe try not sounding like a Russian stooge then.

What’s that? Oh. You were expecting me to be polite after you opened with complains about my readers?

Sorry, please continue:

"Are you at all in favour [sic] of a debate or are we supposed to toe the line and show absolute unquestioning support to whoever the Democrats nominate?"

If you don’t want to be called a Russian stooge, maybe don’t use the foreign spelling of words either.

That said, have you ever seen me suggest or demonstrate "unquestioning support" for anybody? Ever? In any fashion?

No, you haven't.

I have said repeatedly and at great length "I don't owe any politician anything." And neither do you.

Go ahead, do a search on this blog, on my Facebook page, on my Twitter. See how many times I’ve said it.

Hint: It’s a lot.

A lot.

I guess you weren't listening.

But here's the really hilarious part: You're a Bernie guy. You are. Yes, you are. Bernie or bust, right? In point of fact, that's what this is about. Isn't it? This is about your guy losing to Joe Biden in the primaries. And now, you're all depressed and mad and upset and you've come here to register your protest as if I'm the Democratic National Committee's Complaint Department. That what this is about, right?

Sure it is.

Any minute now you're going to demand to speak to my manager about my poor attitude.

"You're a smart guy, Jim. Surely you can see the problems the Democrats have with nominating Biden?"

Yes. And?

It’s likely that I see more problems with Biden than you do.

So?

What is it you expect me to do? Call up Tom Perez and read him the riot act? You think he’ll endorse your guy maybe? Think he’ll call up Michigan and tell them to change their primary results? That’s it, isn’t it? You bought into the conspiracy theory that the DNC diddled the previous election to favor Hillary Clinton, didn’t you? And you figure, what the hell, maybe if you complain to me, I’ll strongarm Perez into diddling 2020 for Bernie, is that it?

You slip me a $20 and I’ll see what I can do.

"How bad does a candidate have to be before you seriously question the integrity of the entire American political system?"

You’re kidding, right?

I seriously question the integrity of the American political system all of the time.

Like, pretty much every day.

Seriously question the American political system. And irreverently question it. And sarcastically question it. And pointedly question it. And profanely question it. That's essentially all I do nowadays. That. I question the integrity of the system, the morality of it, the wisdom of it, the foolishness of it, the fairness of it, the candidates, the politicians, the legalities of it, the voters, and what it ate for dinner last night and with who. 

Jesus Haploid Christ, man, where have you been?

"The Democratic Party holds its left wing hostage under threat that the GOP will usher in an era of fascism. How far to the right does the Democratic Party have to be before you begin to wonder if they're any better?"

Listen, Sparky, I don't give a fig how far right the Democratic Party moves.

Anything less than fascist is better than fascism.

What’s that? You don’t think “anything less than fascism” is enough?

Heh. Yeah. Me too. But that’s where we are.

Hang on, we’ll come back to that.

I’d love for there to be a party I could support 100%, that only promoted candidates that were the embodiment of my ideals, and that was imbued with honor, integrity, and absolutely truthfulness. Sure. Why not?

I’d also love to look like Jason Momoa and have the ability to breathe underwater and telepathically communicate with fish.

So long as we’re wishing for stuff, I mean.

Look here: as previously noted, I'm not a Democrat. I'm not a Republican. I'm not a liberal. I'm not a conservative. And I for goddamned sure ain't part of your fucking cosplay "Resistance."

I'm an American.

My oath is to the Constitution. I swore to give my life for my country, not some political party or ideology or some bullshit college dorm room argument by a bunch of drunken philosophy majors. My loyalty is to my friends and family, to my countrymen – even the ones I can’t stand -- to the human race in general, and especially to the future.

And I've said so enough goddamned times that you should have gotten the message by now.

BUT YOU DON'T LISTEN.

So, let me spell it out:

The odds are very high Joe Biden is going to be the Democratic candidate.

Yeah, that’s right. Joe Biden is very likely going to be the candidate. Now, it doesn't matter if you like that or not. Very likely, that’s how it’s going to be.

If it’s any comfort, he's not my preference either. Not even in the top five.

And, since we’re being honest, frankly, I don't like Bernie either.

I’m sick and fucking tired of Bernie Sanders.

I’m tired of his mirror universe Angry John McCain routine.

I’m tired of his hippy dippy promises of some new Age of Aquarius. I grew up in 60s, I wasn’t impressed.

Most of all, I’m tired of having to pull my punches around his supporters. Who, like you, lose their shit at even the slightest criticism of Bernie Goddamned Sanders.

So, anyway…

What?

Oh.

You’re mad now?

I said something mean about Bernie.

Yeah. Heh heh. What was that you said up above? Something about “absolute unquestioning support?”

If I can’t dislike your candidate without you getting mad, you’re not in a political movement, you’re in a cult.

You and your friends showed up on my Facebook page, on my Twitter, with an endless litany of what’s wrong with Biden, what’s wrong with Warren, and Buttigieg, and Klobucher, and all the rest of them, but goddamn, don’t be mean to Bernie, right?

But that’s the thing, isn’t it?

That’s it right there, I’ve never badmouthed Bernie. If he is the candidate, I’m going to support him 100% and I’ve said so, many times.

When you showed up on my timeline gushing about your man, while my choice was going down in flames and I was all disappointed, I didn’t tell you that you were wrong, or that you were a sellout, or a corporate whore, or unamerican, or determined to elect Donald Trump.

No. I didn’t.

I didn’t badmouth any candidate – with the notable exception of Donald Trump.

But today is a new day and since you brought it up: I don’t like Bernie.

Hey, don’t take it personally, I said I didn’t like Biden either.

The candidate I preferred – and didn’t openly endorse out of respect for your feelings – dropped out.

Now, you’re all depressed that you’ll probably have to vote for somebody you don’t like?

Me too, Bro.

Me too.

It’s a bummer.

But the universe doesn’t care what I want, and Joe Biden is still very likely to be the candidate.

And showing up on my timeline and complaining about how terrible Biden is or is not very likely won't change that.

Listing all of Biden's supposed failings over and over very likely won't change that.

Dire prognostications about what Biden might or might not do if elected President likely won't change that -- though the hypocrisy of complaining about how how dire prognostications of a possible Trump second term isn't enough to get you to vote for Biden is both amusing and incredibly irritating.

Complaining to me via DM and email because you are unable to change the minds of people, because you’re unable to bend the Democratic Party to your will, and you find that terribly disappointing likely won't change that, though the probability of you irritating me to the point you get yourself blocked will be dramatically improved.

Refusal to face reality, no matter how unpleasant it might be, likely won't change that.

I have no sympathy for your complaints in this regard. I had to make any number of decisions in war where there was no good choice. I still had to choose because it was my duty to do so. That's why it's called "Duty" and not "Happy Kittens Who Fly and Fart Sunshine."

Being assholes to each other, to me, most certainly won't change that.

All of you, you're going to have a choice to make.

And the probability is high that choice is going to be, for a lot of you, unpleasant.

That choice is going to require a certain degree of pragmatic compromise of principles on your part.

Refusal to choose is a still a choice -- one that shows a marked lack of principle.

Some of you need to start getting used to this idea because the universe doesn't give a good goddamn about what you want or about fairness or about your sacred principles. Doesn’t care.

You hate that these are your only choices?

So do I.

Too goddamn bad, those are the choices anyway.

You're mad and depressed because there aren't better ones?

Hilarious.

You see, this -- THIS RIGHT HERE -- is where I remind you people that I warned you.

I warned you in 2008.

I warned you again 2010 when you handed the House to the fucking Tea Party.

I warned you in 2012.

I warned you in 2014, when you gave Mitch McConnel the Senate and thus the Supreme Court and, thus, everything else.

And I warned you in 2016.

I’ve been warning you all for a long time, what happens when you don’t show up.

I warned you what would happen if you didn’t grit your damned teeth and do your duty to the Republic.

I warned you sooner later we were going to run out of options.

I warned you.

BUT YOU DON’T LISTEN.

You don’t listen because you don’t like the choices.

You told me you couldn’t vote for the lesser of evils.

And, so, here we are.

With more evil.

And, somehow, you’re surprised. Shocked. How did this happen? You were crying about free college, when fascism was marching in the streets.

I warned you. I did. But you didn’t listen.

And now you’re mad that you don’t have better choices?

Honestly, I’m out of patience with this. I’m out of patience with you. You’re not stupid. You know better. But you still won’t face it. You still persist in this argument despite knowing that this refusal to face reality is precisely what led directly to this very moment. And don't try to tell me that you don't know, because you damned well do. So, let's not pretend that either one of us is stupid by insisting otherwise.

The truth of the matter is this: You don’t really care.

Your loyalty isn’t to the country. Or the future. Or the people you daily tell me you care about. No. The only thing that matters to you is some pie-in-the-sky ideology. Some hippy dippy dream from the Age of Aquarius. The truth of the matter is that you just love the argument. Bunch of drunken frat boys debating philosophy in your dorm room as if people’s lives are just some hypothetical fantasy that doesn’t affect you. It's nothing but masturbation and you’ll still be jerking off as the goons are pushing the rest of us into the ovens.

I’m out of patience with it.

I’m out of patience with you.

We’re down to it and it’s more important than one person, more important than Bernie or Biden, more important than you. Than me. This is about the country, about the future, about the world we leave for our kids.

You don’t want to be called a Russian troll? Then stop acting like one.

You don’t like how my readers treat you? Then stop throwing handfuls of your own shit at people.

You don’t want to be talked to like you’re a fucking child? Then grow up and face reality. Stop complaining about how the world isn’t what you want it to be and face what it is.

You don’t like my attitude? Then don’t come to me and pretend like I haven’t been warning you of this exact eventuality for more than a decade.

You don’t like your choices? Too bad. Neither do I.

And so what?

You want a better nation? Then you need to start by being a better citizen.