Warning: The following article contains excessive sarcasm, it should only be consumed with large amounts of strong whiskey.
The latest words of wisdom from Word Salad Sally:
Well, what we can gleam from this is an understanding of why we are all on the road that we are on and it's based on what went into his thinking being surrounded by radicals he is bringing us back Sean to days that you can harken back to days before the Civil War when unfortunately too many Americans mistakenly believed that not all men were created equal. And it was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth here in America yes we are equal and we all have equal opportunities not based on the color of your skin. You have equal opportunities to work hard and to succeed and to embrace the opportunities god given opportunities to develop resources and work extremely hard and as I say to succeed. Now it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand that that gravity that mistake took place before the Civil War and why the Civil War had to really start changing America. What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income based on color of skin.
I know, I know.
You want to say it, don’t you?
You want to use that word, don’t you?
Sure, you do, you’re liberals. I see you reaching for the c-word.
Don’t do it.
No, just don’t do it. I’ve already spent the last week playing Whack-a-Mole with the Limbaugh defenders, I don’t need you calling Sarah Palin names on here on Stonekettle Station. I think we can all agree that she’s been oppressed enough.
Besides, she’s right you know.
Sure.
I think we’ve already established that Sarah Palin is an expert on both Barack Obama and American history. And now it turns out that she’s as much an expert on the Antebellum South as she is on the American Revolution.
When Sarah Palin talks about American history, well, Sir, it really makes you think. Doesn’t it?
What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income based on color of skin.
Sure, that’s exactly what Obama wants to do. It’s so obvious when Professor Palin points it out, isn’t it?
And seriously, what black person wouldn’t?
What black person wouldn’t want to go back to the days of pre-Civil War America?
No wonder all black people support Barak Obama and his vision of Socialist Amerika. They’re all in it together, you know. Black people are all socialists at heart anyway. Sure they are.
Of course they want to go back. Of course they do. The Antebellum South was a paradise for black people.
No really.
Think about it.
Think about it the way somebody much smarter than you obviously has.
What? Oh, now you want to call me the c-word, do you?
Your problem is that you’re looking at the past through the liberal colored (heh heh, see what I did there? I slipped in the word colored) glasses of the elitist media. You’ve been fed a pack of socialist lies by the communist feminazis of the public school system!
But, you’re not looking at this correctly.
No, really, this is about you, this isn’t about Sarah Palin.
Remember in the second Star Wars movie where the radical domestic terrorist, Luke Skywalker, was wandering through that South Carolina swamp talking to the ghost of Old Bill Ayers? Sure and Old Bill says, “See, everything I told you was true … from a certain point of view.” And Luke is all “WTF, Obi? A certain point of view?” And everybody in the audience is like “Yeah, WTF? That wizard is just a crazy old man!”
But then it turns out that Luke was just another robe wearing hippy Marxist who wanted to destroy the country in order to impose some kind of socialist totalitarianism?
It’s exactly like that.
Sarah Palin is the Obi Wan Kenobi of American politics. Everybody thinks she’s crazy (oops, looks like I used the c-word after all. Oh well), but it’s because you’re not looking at history from the right angle.
Let’s review the facts unvarnished by the liberal lies, shall we?
Back before the Civil War:
Black people were taken care by White People from cradle to grave. It’s true!
White People had to spend money taking care of black people. Sure. White People had to pay for black people’s food. White People paid for black people’s clothes. White People had to give black people free housing. You talk about forced redistribution of wealth! That’s totally a fact and you can’t argue with facts.
But wait there’s more.
White People had to pay for black people’s transportation and immigration. I know, I know, outrageous! White People had to actually pay for black people to come to America from Africa by cruise ships. No, really, what do you call it when black people didn’t even have to work for their passage, they just laid around below decks talking and hanging out with other black people – and White People had do do all the crewing and sailing and work? White People literally had to pay for the black invasion of America!
Back in those days before the Civil War, White People even had to pay for black people’s healthcare! Black people were so socialist that they totally depended on the oppressed White People class to take care of their every healthcare need. Seriously, look it up – there weren’t any black people even working in healthcare in those days, not one single black doctor. Black people didn’t even go to school! White People had to be the doctors and the scientists and the engineers! White People had to build America and black people just came along for the ride!
In fact, black people were so lazy, so socialist, that they even made White People decide which career fields black children would pursue. It’s true, they just expected White People to take care of their little black children, actually pawning them off on other White People households and shit. White People had to provide all the jobs for black people. Affirmative action was run amok back in those days, a White Person couldn’t even get a job in agriculture or textile manufacturing because black people totally dominated the workforce.
White People had to serve in the military and defend the country which kept black people safe.
White People had to run the government and all the businesses and keep capitalism going and black people just benefitted without having to do anything.
Black people didn’t even pay taxes.
Look, you want to know how extreme the black socialism was before the Civil War set things straight?
You want to know how far the liberal black agenda had gone?
Dig this: Black people didn’t even own any property. Hello, sounds like just like the communist Soviet Union, doesn’t it?
Back then, before the Civil War, black people had made White People totally their bitches.
…and it was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth here in America yes we are equal and we all have equal opportunities not based on the color of your skin.
Thankfully, the Civil War finally ended the black enslavement of White People.
Oh yes, only now, at the end, do you understand.
And you thought Sarah Palin was crazy, didn’t you?
Do you finally see it now?
Back in the days before the Civil War, America was a socialist paradise for Negroes!
No wonder Obama wants to go back to that time.
It's all clear to me now. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteYou are one disturbed dude... :-)
ReplyDeleteI really don't think even Sarah comprehends what comes out of her mouth.
ReplyDeleteI don't see why Sarah should be special -- I don't comprehend what comes out of her mouth either. I couldn't figure out what c-word Jim meant because I was stuck on i-for-incoherent.
DeleteI was thinking of a totally different C-word that Bill Maher gets hit for using when talking about her. However, the one that Jim was referring to was definitely the one that was more appropriate in this particular case... But when one looks at history through that guano-tinted lens, I can see how one could *maybe* come to conclusions such as those... If I give myself a migraine.
DeleteI was thinking of comatose-my mom took painkillers for a back problem once and you could understand the words she said, you just couldn't understand what she was saying.
Deleteknittingbull
My God, my God, why did I not understand this before? When you lay it all out like that, it's so clear! What a diabolically clever radical that usurper in the used-to-be White House is!
ReplyDeleteWe must, must, MUST take our country back! Before it's too late!
AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oops, I appear to have used up today's allotment of exclamation points.
Nathan Bedford Forrest 2012!
ReplyDeleteI sense a disturbance in the for..I mean internet as if a million voices suddenly cried out WTF.
ReplyDeleteJim, love your blog, you have a great way of making a point.
You DO realize it's Sunday, don't you?
ReplyDeletePlease tell me she really said "what we can GLEAM from this..." I can think of soooo many words to describe her, and none of them are the "c" word - asinine, bitchy, dumb, ...... I was trying to go through the alphabet, and can't think of an "e" word for her...so never mind.
ReplyDeleteAnd, once again, you have made it all so clear. Thank you!
I'm surprised 'egotistical' didn't come to mind.
DeleteOr 'eejit' as we say in Ireland
Deleteexcretory? fraud, gobsmacked, hair, idiot, joke, Okay, I'll quit here.
DeleteWow... once again you spin a tale that is both slightly crazy (sorry... c word) sounding and yet entirely accurate factual.
ReplyDeletePerspective truly is everything, isn't it?
Promise us you'll only ever use your powers for Good and not become a political spin doctor!
Jim....You nailed it....thats her in a NUT shell!!
ReplyDeleteOf course he realizes it is Sunday. Note the near absence of profanity. Sarcasm begins with S, just like Sunday so I think it is permissible. Another good one Jim.
ReplyDeleteI still get a headache every time I try to read a transcription of anything Sarah Palin says.
ReplyDeleteI am right there with you. Did you try on the guano-tinted glasses? Just to try to view the "history?"
DeleteYep, me, too. Read that twice and had to uncross my eyes before I could make it through the rest of Jim's blog.
DeleteExcellent post. The only thing it's really missing is the statement "it's TWUE!". :)
ReplyDeleteSo there you have it. We've been found out. I guess we can forget about the 40 acres and a mule, lol. Jim keep them coming. You bring sanity to such an insane world.
ReplyDelete*snort* Yep. Just more socialism, that was.
DeleteOh...the "c-word" you were referring to in regard to Palin was "crazy"! And here I was for half the reading thinking that it was the other "c word". Might I add, that one works too.
ReplyDeleteCuckoo.
DeleteCreepy.
DeleteI too was halted in my rush through her word spin tornado by the words "what we can gleam from this" Cool... let us all sparkle on to the understanding that any consonant will do in her rush to explain how Obama desires the days of oppression.
ReplyDeleteROFLOL!!
DeleteAnother spot-on essay about the history of our country. I admit I have been seriously--what's the correct word here...befuddled?--by the words I hear about "taking our country back...the founding fathers and their beliefs..." and now the latest from Mrs. P, "back to pre-Civil War." I mean, my first impression was that she was saying we needed to all go out to the costume store and buy a uniform...gray or blue, depending on where we might reside.
ReplyDeleteBut now, from your excellent, superb transcription, I understand where they (the, sorry have to say it, right-leaning peoples) are headed. It's all so clear to me now.
In all seriousness, because the above was laden with snark, thank you for adding some humour to the situation. Otherwise it just might get a tad bit depressing that people such as Mrs. P and her followers really think they're quite smart.
So they're spelling "Cwitter" with a "C" now? Nothing that woman says ever makes any sense. I prefer the "N" word when describing her. She's a narcissistic nincompoop.
ReplyDeleteAs others have mentioned, actually reading transcripts of her meanderings induces a sharp pain right behind my eye sockets. I am beginning to think this is some weird form of hypno-torture, designed in Murdoch's secret underground labs.
ReplyDeleteAt first, I thought the things she said were just "word vomit"...but I now think that is because when I read those things...I want to vomit, and so that is my first explanation, confusing cause and effect as it were.
I did notice that when Tina Fey or William Shatner quoted her verbatim, the effect was somewhat muted. I applaud those stalwart thespians for absorbing the brunt of her diabolical reverse "brown note" speech patterns.
....and oh yeah....Bill Maher was absolutely right.
I'd disagree with Maher's choice of words, even though I also have a low opinion of the woman. Correct or otherwise, it gives a tiny shred of credibility to the argument that we are hypocrites for criticizing Rush's latest vile comments. I'd rather not give the other side any ammunition.
DeleteThat was addressed in the comments of the previous post.
DeleteMy apologies. I've had a rough weekend. I've discovered I have a family member who just can't fathom why I think Rush is so foul. She even hurled the worst epithet she could think of at me - "liberal." Remember the post in which you noted that one day you looked up and discovered you'd switched sides without changing your beliefs? Me, too.
DeleteI'm constantly being reminded of this Dave Bromberg number but using "Sarah" instead of Sharon. "Oh oh oh Sarah, what do you do to these men? You know that same rowdy crowd that was here last night is back again."
ReplyDeletehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N86YBxFhaqA
Watching that was much more fun than watching Sarah.
DeleteI'm amazed you were able to 'gleam' so much from such an incoherent, grammatically-tortured paragraph. Do they give out a decoder ring when you move into the state or something? It had something to do with the Civil War; Barack Obama was mentioned as well. She could have been expounding on civil rights, from my reading of it, but she could have been dictating a recipe for hardtack. I wasn't sure, by the time I got to the end of it.
ReplyDeleteThank you for translating that for me. I have never been able to understand Palinese.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap, you're right! And I'm sorry, but I had to click "I hate you so much". I get really upset when someone points out something that is so obvious, a 3 year old could have seen it and I've been missing it for years. You rat bastard you.... *grin*
ReplyDeleteI ticked the "I cried" box
ReplyDeleteI cried at the extent education failed Mrs Palin (or should that be Mrs Palin failed education)
I cried that any media organization would allow such stupidity to be broadcast
I cried that there are people, albeit a small number, who think she speaks truth
I cried that anyone would want to live such a useless negative life as this person
I cried that someone could so hate a person of a different skin color that she would spend 4 years inciting hatred and violence
I cried for those slaves of long ago - but also for their descendants in their struggle for life, liberty and pursuit of happiness.
And if there is a god - I would thank him/her that Word Salad Sally will never be anywhere near the red button
Last night, HBO had the premier of a movie they produced called Game Change. It's specifically about Palin's addition to the McCain campaign and how it affected everything. I watched it, and it was pretty good... It sheds light on some of the points you note.
DeleteMeh, if we're going to discuss HBO's depiction of Palin, I'd prefer Lena Headey's version in Game of Thrones to Julianne Moore's in Game Change. Just saying.
DeleteWell, I can see why. When given the choice between the two, I would choose Lena Heady as well. Of course, the problem with her character is that she actually gets to the position of power, where Moore's living character has not yet achieved that status. All she has thus far is the fame of a talking head. Unfortunately, the fame of a talking head seems to carry a disproportionate amount of power.
DeleteWell, see, I can't think of Palin and not think of a certain term as coined by The Oatmeal. I warned folks when it first appeared on The Oatmeal that I would find a place to use it, and so I have.
DeleteI missed that somehow...
DeleteMy friends, they failed me! *headdesk*
Thank you for introducing me to that certain term. That is my new and improved word of a certain alphabetical persuasion.
And people were upset by Bill Maher. Obviously Rush has never heard of The Oatmeal.
DeleteOr, more likely, he's afraid. Very, very afraid.
Well, if you liked Game of Thrones, and you like talking about Game Change....
DeleteGame Change of Thrones
Randy, that was pretty damned funny. Especially the pit bull/lipstick one.
DeleteI lol'd at the "This isn't the campaign I wanted to run."
DeleteYou know I think this woman is crazy (omg I said it) like a Fox (yes that capitalization was intentional). You have to admit, only in America (pronounced Ammerrca) can some semi-literate, barely educated, rural gal with the IQ of an amoeba become a Governor and even a Vice-Presidential candidate? Where else but in American can she QUIT and then go on to become a reality show D-list celeb, and make tons of money from speaking to people like her, and drag an entire Political Party down to the bottom level with her? She's laughing all the way to Rush's bank, Jim, all the way.
ReplyDeleteCrazy like a Fox. She's fleecing the same people those Evangelists do because they never learn. And I used to feel sorry for them, no I don't. But I wish she'd just take their money and shut up already. There are more important things the government needs to do these days and more we should all be talking about. She's now a distraction, and I bet the Party Politburo isn't too happy about all this either. I have a feeling come November, they're going to be really, really unhappy.
It is a good thing she never became VP: one Dan Quayle was enough.
ReplyDeleteThat was funny as hell....
ReplyDeleteActually Jim, put that way - Gov. Palin has voiced a cogent, concise and powerful message of warning to all of us true American white capitalists that the Kenyan, Muslim, Negro Socialist occupying the American people's palace is the primary threat to our continued freedom from Sharia Law and redistribution of all we have strived to preserve for our own future!
ReplyDeleteBut, most importantly you have enslaved yourself as the great Governor's chronicler and muse. One who would forever be bound to Ms. Sarah's virtual side to elucidate and clarify her most erudite and meaningful pronouncements. And that really SUCKS for you man!
If he only were to elucidate her erudite & meaningful pronouncements, he'd end up being like Teller, from Penn & Teller.
DeleteShe'll have to lift the restraining order first. What? I'm just saying.
DeleteI think I get it. Because Obama is half white, half black, he re-fought the Civil War within himself, and, this time, the South won, and Sarah Palin doesn't want to support her slaves that are enslaving her?
DeleteWait. Is it still sarcasm if more than a few somebodies believe it word for word? Because I'm pretty sure that the idiot I heard complaining out loud that the homeless have more rights than he did because "they don't pay taxes" would swallow this faster than a catfish gulps a gummy worm.
ReplyDeleteSign me: confused.
Yeah, my stand-out recent memory of such was some guys at the coffee shop I frequent, who first got my attention with various flat-out factually wrong misstatements (P-52 Mustang, V-2 was the first jet, the 2/3 compromise), and then went on to talk about how the slaves really didn't have it so bad, and if they would've just waited a couple of decades, that whole pesky slavery thing would've blown over anyway. Unfortunately, the place was pretty full that night, so I had to sit through a lot of that before someone left somewhere else, and I could snag their table.
DeleteIn short, it was very much exactly Jim's alleged exaggeration here.
Wow! At first, I thought you were quoting one of the incoherent nut-jobs that e-mail you. But no, it's just Sarah Palin.
ReplyDeleteShe neglects the English language the way a stroke patient neglects their left side. She just doesn't notice it until she looks at it, then isn't sure how to make it work for her. String a bunch of big words together and see if it makes anything intelligible.
Subject, verb, object. Repeat. I'm sure I learned that in school somewhere. Oh yeah, it was that commie, leftist, socialist, liberal public school. Too bad she didn't pay attention when education was still free.
She makes educated women cringe.
I would give my right arm to hear just one "interviewer" respond to that word-mash with ...."What the f*^% did you just say?".....really, call her out in front of the whole media world and say "are you barking mad!? That made about as much sense as a goddamned soup sandwhich!" It'll never happen. I know, I know, it's a pipe dream, but a girl can dream can't she?
Delete"She neglects the English language the way a stroke patient neglects their left side. She just doesn't notice it until she looks at it, then isn't sure how to make it work for her. String a bunch of big words together and see if it makes anything intelligible."
DeleteYeah, thanks. Now all my coworkers think I'm a cackling weirdo... >.>
And yet today on Fox McCain continued to insist that Palin was the best qualified person for his Vice-Presidential running mate, he's not happy with HBO and "Game Change."
ReplyDeleteWhat? Somebody has to watch it from time to time. Remember, keep your friends close and your enemies closer.
Yeah, but what's he going to say? "Yeah, about that Palin thing--I told my wife and my staff and my BFF Joe Lieberman that he was my only pick, and then my wife and staff said I was crazy and I couldn't have him for my Vice President because no way the party was going to go for a Democrat as a Republican's veep, and I was all, like, 'But he's an independent now' and they were all, like, 'He was Al Gore's running mate, for God's sake, show some sense, Johnny.' And so I was like, 'Fuck it then, I totally don't care, nominate whoever the fuck you want, I don't give a shit. And so they brought me this Palin chick's name and said that a bunch of journalists were talking about how awesome and maverickey she was and how she'd be a perfect VP for me and I was all, like, 'Whatever, I don't care, I wanted to pick Joe and if I can't have what I want, I could give a shit,' and they're all, like, 'Don't you want to meet her or anything?' and I was, like, 'What-evv-er' and so they went ahead and announced her and then later I found out she was a dumb, self-obsessed bimbo who tried to charge the campaign a bazillion dollars for new clothes and wasn't even smart enough to tell Katie Couric she read the fucking Wall Street Journal and Forbes when she was asked what she liked to read, as if anyone was going to give her a test on it. You know who would have been awesome if Katie Couric asked him a question? Joe Lieberman. Because that dude is awesome. If he'd been my running mate, we'd be playing POGS in the Oval Office right now until my wife came in and made us go to bed."
DeleteI am not entirely sure if that's what he would have said, but who cares? That was awesome!
DeleteHe can't exactly go back and say, "Yeah, that lady was a total screw up and cost me the campaign." Though, I am not entirely certain *why* he can't say it. It isn't like he is going to run for president again, so who cares?
Rebecca - I can't think of a single reason why McCain cannot admit that Palin cost him the Presidency. What hold does she have over him that we don't know.
DeleteAs I think was mentioned in Game Change - you don't vet people (especially governors) by asking them what they read, the politics of Great Britain or the names of the 7 continents and 5 oceans. If they don't know the basics they wouldn't have made it into college - THEY WOULDN'T BECOME A GOVERNOR - WOULD THEY???
I find myself thinking that John McCain doesn't deserve as much flak as he has received - and he probably deserves some thanks - vetting governors has reached a whole new level since 2008 - and lots of the GOP ones are not looking good.
TS - About the only reason I can come up with is that he would have to admit he was wrong, and had chosen someone who would have been bad for the country when his slogan was country first. That woman was not a country first pick.
DeleteI will admit to not thinking about things in the light of vetting the governors more thoroughly as a response to the national attention that Sarah Palin received. I thank you for that look through a differently tinted lens. I shall chew on it.
TS, I really do think it's as simple as McCain can't publicly admit he was wrong and that, as Rebecca says, Palin should never have been a first pick--that picking her was little more than a crude attempt to pander to women voters by picking a photogenic but poorly-vetted and unqualified running mate after his preferred choice was shot down as a pipe dream.
DeleteMcCain's inability to admit such a huge error in judgment makes a lot more sense if you understand his training.
DeleteJohn McCain was a Navy Officer, more he was a Naval Flight Officer. He rose to the rank of Captain and served as the commanding officer of a flight squadron. He was raised by Admirals. He himself was in line for Rear Admiral (Lower Half) though it's unlikely he would have gone any further for various reasons. It's hard to see it now, but he's an alpha male. Admission of an error, especially one so large, is demeaning. It diminishes him in comparison to other alpha males (at least in his own eyes, you don't count). I've seen a number of Captains behave exactly like John McCain - note that none of these men were the type you'd want to serve under. His current position is perfectly predictable within the context of his military background and it's unlikely to change.
McCain was specifically trained not make such mistakes, i.e. the kind of errors in judgment that led him to select Palin for a running mate. And yet he did. He trusted people to vet her, they gundecked the job and he didn't catch them doing it - and that means he didn't select them very well either. His failure is much larger than Palin. His training and background leave him two options, admit it or deny it happened. Denying it happened is the dishonorable choice of the two, but McCain is no longer accountable to higher authority for his actions and so he chose the easy way out.
Also, remember, Palin is very, very popular among the hard right conservatives of McCain's district. He needs those people, admitting that Palin was the wrong choice slaps those people right in the face. McCain could have been president if he had appealed to the center, instead he pandered to the crazies. Palin is their queen.
As you both say - very hard to admit to such a mistake (I guess I give McCain more credit than due thinking he might go there) - the "hot" was no doubt to attract men as well as women - and the pro life for the base. What ever could go wrong?
DeleteThanks for the responses - appreciated.
Jim
DeleteMany thanks for your insight - I replied before I read your post
Thank you, Jim, for that insight.
DeleteIt's no surprise that he dislikes Game Change since it makes him look like he got completely railroaded by his advisers and his running-mate.
As for Palin's popularity with the crazy folk... I know. I am related to some of the crazy folk. One of my cousins told me that she felt that Palin was just like her and was speaking *for* her. To an extent, I understand where she was coming from with that, but I can only hope that she could look past the whole: Palin's got a bunch of kids, and so do *I!* Squee! Thing. Unfortunately, I am not entirely sure that part of my family ever quite got over that, which saddens me. We very carefully don't talk about politics.
Jim, no wonder they want to defund the public schools. Somehow I managed to get all the way through a B.S. degree without learning this version of history you so ably provided. Thank you for filling in this obvious gap in my education.
ReplyDeleteI think I threw up a little in my mouth. I can't even begin to tranlate her gibberish and now that you have, I am truly sick that such an individual can even draw breath in this world.
ReplyDeleteWhat I gleam from that passage, and everything else out of the Palin's mouth is that John McCain, by elevating her to a position where she might well have got within a heartbeat of the whitehouse, committed an insult to this country so deep that it more or less qualifies as High Treason.
ReplyDelete"O! say can you see by the dawn's early light,
ReplyDeleteWhat so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"
She was simply dropping a reference to our national anthem. Anyone should have understood gleaming was a reference to this proud hymm and not a reference to some liberal stealing a farmer's unwanted corn by gleaning his field.
You know who would completely and un-ironically agree with and repeat your wonderful interpretation of Sally's hazy view of history?
ReplyDeleteThese people:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=SfdEtW5DCAk
Do you know what the real difference between a pitbull ,and that hockey mom?
ReplyDeleteWhen the pitbull shit on the floor it looks ashamed.
communist feminazis of the public school system
ReplyDeleteHey, I resemble that remark!
Actually, 'crazy' wasn't the c-word I was coming up with.....
Oh oh! I know!
DeleteYou meant to call her a cretin!
Yes? ;)
I went back and tried to read this after reading some of the hilarious commentary here. Let's look at this alleged sentence:
ReplyDelete"Now it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand that that gravity that mistake took place before the Civil War and why the Civil War had to really start changing America."
Wow, I think this is the first time I've seen 3 "that"s within one word of each other, quite an accomplishment! And she tossed in gravity too, although I'm not sure that's what she wanted to do with people who believe the earth is 6000 years old, but that's probably the subject of another post. But by mentioning the words "Civil War" twice and then following up with yet another vague sentence and the words "Obama" and "class" and "color of skin" she just managed to fool a whole lot of white people below the Mason/Dixon line into thinking she just said what they were thinking. I'm sticking to my "Crazy like a Fox".
I should heed your pre-post warnings a little more carefully. I'm still twitching after reading that... mess of a quote. The idea that people who agree with the half-term quitter of an ex-governor might take these or any other of her words seriously only increases my feeling of pessimism for the future of our country. I'm not sure why "crazy" should be off limits. It makes polite discourse harder if people take it as an insult, but it's not. I think that she has at least one, probably many possible clinical mental problems. She and several GOP presidential candidates would benefit from diagnosis and psychological therapy, if they could only be honest with themselves. Ironically, a comprehensive national health care system would be good for them. (Though they are all rich enough not to need it. Probably why they oppose it and go with the "Screw you, I've got mine." glibertarian idea.)
ReplyDeleteI take issue with deriding the "gleam." She may have meant "glean" but the "n" was followed by "f" which may have influenced her lip positioning. She's talking off-the-cuff (or off-the-hand in her case), so of course she's got run-on sentences, sentence fragments, etc. Try talking on live television some time and watch later to see how you sound. The folks who love her don't care; she sounds just like them.
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't excuse her trying to scare the Fox listening base by making Obama look like someone who's trying to reverse institutional racism. There was a time when it was enough to have your inherent superiority to all dark-skinned people (and women, to boot) threatened to make it worth taking up arms and dying. That time, apparently, is no longer. Now that there has been a semblance of (or at least lip service to) equality in this country, the motivation has to be an over-the-top threat of a full role reversal where Mars'Obama sells white babies (at least the ones that survived the threat of abortion) into slavery.
[Stops for a while to try to imagine that. Nope, sorry. It's beyond the pale. You'd have to be c-word to give it any credence.]
I pity these people. They are scared; they are angry and lashing out. And while anyone to adds to their misery by trying to make it seem worse than it is deserves all the kicking a good, stout pair of boots can provide, let's confine our criticism to the gist (if any) of their remarks or actions.
[Dismounts high horse.]
Hi Jim, I think I will use the "b" word.
ReplyDeleteBATSHIT!
Thanks.
That's why you need the guano tinted glasses to understand a transcribed version of what she is saying. Then, you can see the world the way she does.
DeleteC'mon, c'mon. Y'all 're not givin' her her due. Remember her sacrifice of last year?
ReplyDeleteDecember 19, 2011 - "After much prayer and serious consideration, I have decided that I will not be seeking the 2012 GOP nomination for president of the United States," said Palin in a statement on her decision."
Newt knows. He's already set up to reward that gosh-darn hockey puck.
December 30, 2011 - GOP presidential candidate Newt Gingrich said this week that he would consider picking former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin as a running mate in 2012, or perhaps a cabinet secretary if he was to win the White House.
....
"I am a great admirer of hers, and she was a remarkable reform governor of Alaska. She's somebody who I think brings a great deal to the possibility of helping in government and that would be one of the possibilities. There are also some very important cabinet positions that she could fill very, very well. I can't imagine anybody that would do a better job of driving us to an energy solution than Gov. Palin, for example.
Thank you very much for giving me yet *another* reason not to *ever* vote for Newt Gingrich should he manage to get the nomination.
DeleteNow, where did I put my barf bags?
Beyond increasing our domestic oil production, what does she know about energy in this country? Out of one side of her mouth, she speaks about the impact of the greenhouse effect caused by CO2 emmissions. Out of the other side, she wants to promote an industry that is causing the greenhouse effect.
DeleteResearch and modelling consistently tell us that if we don't reduce emissions by >6% per year, the greenhouse effect will soon be out of our control. You can't promote oil-based industry and control that at the same time.
People - You are missing an important point. She was told to say "civil rights movement" but she was so fucked up she said "civil war." Not that it's a better argument, it's just that how can you mix up the two? Her handlers should have seen that and made some excuse for her. Or maybe all her handlers quit on her. Makes sense to me.
ReplyDeleteI have a theory that this is all part of the Military-Industrial Complex's ongoing attempts to weaponize Stupid.
ReplyDeleteNext they'll be arguing that Nazi Concentration Camps weren't all *that* bad. I mean the Jews were kept safe, got free room and board, and the Nazis were "job creators" for the war effort, right?
Oh wait, but I forgot... Hitler was a Liberal, right?
DeleteYou hit right on the nail a rationale that has actually been espoused by conservative columnists "of color," cf. Dinesh D'Souza (the actual source of the Ugandan Anti-Colonialist trope Gingrich aped) and Thomas Sowell, both defenders of The Bell Curve and pining, like V.S. Naipul, for the "glory days" of the British Raj, for an America more in line with the groups that butter their egos with ideologically acceptable token, though they would angrily deny it. In the late 90s D'Souza basically wrote on how the Jim Crow laws were given a bum rap and that they were "protective" in nature. Go figure. Brilliant piece of satire above!
DeleteFirst time commenting, long time reader. But this... was masterful! Thank you for that incredible translation of the verbiage spewed from you-know-who.
ReplyDeleteI admit to watching for the "c" word, but never saw "coprolitic" used even once. (root word coprolite: noun a stony mass consisting of fossilized fecal matter of animals... from dictionary-dot-com) That works for me.
Again, incredible post, huge thanks.
That works...
DeleteBut so does cretin (stupid, vulgar, or insensitive person)...
Not sexist, not racist, just... well...
Brilliantly Swiftian so simple! Yet, it does hearken to the ironies of the period. Moral horror and denial have created a pathological level of avoidance and obfuscation of the historical facts. SLAVERY WORKED. It was immoral and unethical but not illegal and certainly the enslaved were given at least a semblance of due process before their life, liberty, etc. were taken away. That does not detract from its efficiency. Slavery made this entire country prosper and it could not have prospered without that source of cheap labor conveniently without consent or contract. Besides, the indigenous Natives were too feisty and independent when they were not brought to near extinction by disease and whiskey and thus far too few in number to exploit. The whole North/South divide came not so much from moral indignation on one side but as a side effect of the inevitable division of the resource; i.e., the North deprecated slavery because there was as much money to be made in its administration as in the actual labor source so exploited. Insurance, assurance, bounties, credit, legal formalities, etc. made it lucrative and the market supported the institution and wished its continuance in some fashion. There is indeed an attempted reversion to Pre-Civil War times but it is across the board and coming from Palin's own camp with its attempt to destroy unions and the rights they won for the working class (paid vacations, weekends off, overtime,pensions, etc. HOW MANY OF THESE HAVE YOU HAD RECENTLY?) SLAVES WERE ENVIED because they did indeed have a reliable source of food, shelter, and clothing, if not income. And let's make one thing perfectly clear: Prior to Emancipation (or the Civil Rights Act of 1964 some would argue) THERE WERE NO SUCH THINGS AS 'FREE BLACKS.' Enslavement remained the constant threat over any. "Free" or not, IF YOU WERE NOT A WHITE, MALE, PROTESTANT, your life, liberty, and property were in a precarious state. America at that time resembled more of a Taliban-like state than the so-called threat of Islam to this country today. YOU COULD NOT VOTE, HOLD OFFICE, MARRY WITHOUT BUREAUCRATIC CONSENT AND ANY PROPERTY YOU WERE LUCKY TO HAVE COULD BE SUBJECT TO ARBITRARY TAXATION, LIEN, OR SEIZURE UNDER IMMANENT DOMAIN. As an aside, for all the cheers on the Republican/Conservative side about "property rights," the recent Supreme Court decision affirming the legitimacy of immanent domain must have come like falling through a hole in the ice while blissfully ice skating. A brilliant analysis!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Judi and Kerry. I was too busy turning my head sideways trying to string these words together into some form of meaning to think of the C-word. I mean, each one was an English word I understood, WTF? I didn't heed the warning, and I have no whiskey in the house. Do have some kicking mead I put up though. Maybe if I crack a bottle those words will make more sense. Oh, forget it. I'll just crack a bottle and leave the words for someone else to hurt their brain on.
ReplyDelete