Breakfast Meat

Beef Bacon…

…is not my new favorite bacon.

 

Don’t get me wrong here, it tastes like bacon (with sort of a smoky beef jerky undertone – bacon and beef jerky, honestly if you’re going to kill yourself, you could do worse), it feels like bacon, it smells like bacon. It is bacon, but made from a cow instead of a pig.  It's seems to be lower in fat – but I seriously doubt that it’s any better for you than pig bacon in any way whatsoever.

It’s not bad, I like it, but it will never replace pig bacon as undisputed king of crispy fried fat.

I would rate beef bacon higher than bacon made from any kind of fowl, higher than both turkey and ostrich bacon certainly.

I would rate it way higher than moose bacon, which is more like the aforementioned beef jerky since moose is pretty deficit in the fat department.

I would certain place it on the bacon scale far, far above porcupine bacon (don’t ask) and fried muktak - sort of a bacon made from whale or seal blubber (think the texture of three day old dog shit that has dried in the sun with a robust taste like fermented fish heads and polar bear ass). 

And it beats the ever living hell out of tofu bacon – though technically it is tofu bacon, it’s just that the soy beans have been processed through an extra step.

 

Be it bacon, ham, sausage, or a chop - here at Stonekettle Station, the pig is still the undisputed champion of the breakfast meats.

 

You?

What’s your favorite breakfast meat? Or meat-like substitute?

Think carefully, as always the wrong answer will get you expelled from the Bunker, there to live out your short and miserable life upon surface of the zombie ravaged earth with Anonymous and her banjo.