We've been renegotiating the labor contract here at Stonekettle Station.
Recently labor approached management with complains regarding current pay and benefits. Labor presented a proposal for a new contract. We in management were somewhat surprised as we feel the current pay and benefits situation is more than fair. However labor, as it were, apparently feels somewhat differently.
Labor sent in a negotiator who made the following Power Point pitch:
Slide 1, indicates the desired state of affairs with regards to management:
Slide 2 indicates an undesirable management condition:
Slides 3 shows the desired condition of the labor force:
Slides 4 and 5 displays the proposed pay and benefits package:
Slide 6 (Which I personally feel is out of sequence and concludes the presentation on kind of an exaggerated sour note) indicates the current pay situation as perceived by labor.
Note: Management is not particularly flattered by its graphic representation in the presentation. Management feels that its arms are not nearly that long.
We in management are considering the proposal, and while we have no problems with labor taking on more responsibility around the place we feel that an additional $3USD on top of the current pay and benefits package is just a tad exorbitant - after all, we do allow labor to sleep in the house and we do feed him upon occasion.
We'll think about it and submit a counter offer and maybe sweeten the benefits package just bit - say one or two less beatings a week. Maybe.
Beatings will continue until morale improves!
ReplyDeleteSTRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE!
ReplyDelete(Sorry. Being a liberal, my knee-jerk reaction is to support labor.)
(Wanders away singing Billy Bragg's "Which Side Are You On?"
I'm thinking of hiring scab labor until the attitude around here improves!
ReplyDeleteYou could pay labor $3 more a week for doing dishes, and then turn around and tell labor that any trips they want to take in the motorized vehicle will cost $2 a trip.
ReplyDeleteWhat with rising fuel costs and all.
I'm impressed a PowerPoint presentation was used. That young man will go far.
ReplyDeleteI'm currently highly annoyed with the unreliable nature of my workforce.
ReplyDeleteThey haven't gotten allowance in a while. And I won't even guarantee 'em money for odd jobs because their delivery on said jobs is highly dependent on whether there's a LAN party going on across town or a seventh rerun of Full Metal Alchemist on cable.
So my approach is, surprise me. Do the work on spec. Do it quickly, and high quality and I might pay them. If I'm in the mood and the labor hasn't already cleaned out my cash supply for some other reason.
It's arbitrary, but hey, it's my house and my checkbook.
Since my work force consists solely of cats, I can assure you that all the work is subpar.
ReplyDeleteThe only way my dogs would do menial labor is if I were to duct tape one of them to the end of a broom stick and use him/her as a dust mop.
ReplyDeleteAnd then the dog would kill me in my sleep.
On the whole, not a very good idea.
Hey, maybe I could duct tape a teen to the end of an aluminum pole and use him to clean algae out of the bottom of my pond! I don't *think* that would be considered child abuse as long as I paid him, right?
Just tell him all the other teen are doing it, Jeri, and you'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteYou guys just slay me, and now I will start my day as a very teeny tiny cog in the Federal Gov't with a smile. :-D
ReplyDeleteNatalie
Hmmm. I don't wish to imply that the Federal Gov't has a smile. I meant that *I* have a smile.
ReplyDeleteOf course the Federal Government has a smile... the problem is the trickle of drool and vacant, glassy stare that goes along with it....
ReplyDeleteI am not really sure that the Fed Gov't should have a smile -- it would be extra creepy. The vacant stare and drool cost extra.
ReplyDeleteEvery time I look, it's the forehead wrinkles in the depiction of angry management that make me laugh.
ReplyDelete(goes off to play Springsteen's cover of Pay Me My Money Down)