I just came in from loading the ATV onto the trailer in preparation for a wood harvesting expedition in the wilds of my friend's back yard. It's wet out, and the wind is blowing leaves off the cottonwoods. I walked through some damp leaves and tracked one into the house where it dropped off my boot in the middle of the kitchen floor while I was pouring myself a cup of coffee. I fully intended to pick it up and throw it in the trash, but before I could do so The White One (Aka Pegleg, Aka Sitka, Aka Stupid the Cat) charged over to it and after giving it a perfunctory sniff - ate it. Understand, this is not the Einstein of the feline world, and I'm pretty sure that he has the fuzzy headed equivalent of raging schizophrenia, but still - what in the hell? Suddenly he's a herbivore? Cottonwood leaves smell like liver? What?
Two minutes later and sure enough, the inevitable reaction. Urf urf urf, ralph! Big pile of chewed leaf and brown cat stomach goo staining the den carpet. Wonderful.
You'll excuse me, I have to get the hand steam cleaner out. Then I'm off to do a little hunter gathering. Back in a couple of hours.
Now you know why I don't have cats.
ReplyDeleteWhen the dog feels icky, he goes outside and eats grass until he urfs in the yard instead of on my carpet. Such a civilized fellow.
Plus he's much scarier from a home protection perspective. Bad guys just see an enormous dog with a big bark - they have have no "need-to-know" that he's also an enormous wimpy.
Now you know why I don't have cats.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get a vote. I was in South America hunting drug runners when the two of them moved in. I'm not opposed to cats, I just don't know what purpose they serve. Dogs earn their keep, cats not so much. I've become somewhat attached to The Gray One (aka The Fat One, aka Kenai) who is the brains of the two brothers. The White One is a brainless thug, he and I don't get along. And they are the long haired, shedding type, which does wonders for my computer systems.
I've tried to minimize the upkeep process, they have a robot feeder and a robot cat box cleaner which I modified for much larger capacity. I only have to empty it every couple of weeks. I knew that electronics Warrant Officer training was going to pay off sooner of later.