The Perversity of Extremism Tends Toward The Maximum

The greatest tragedy in mankind’s entire history may be the hijacking of morality by religion

Sir Arthur C. Clarke

“Credo,” Greetings, Carbon-Based Bipeds! Collected Essays, 1934-1998, 1999

---

I need a word.

And I’m pretty sure that word is “boggle.”

 

Let’s review, shall we?

Here we have a political party who believes that while corporations are people, and therefore imbued with unlimited and inalienable rights, women are not – not people and not imbued with the same rights as men or corporations. 

Paradoxically, and for no reason that I can fathom – other than perhaps either brainwashing or a staggering level of self loathing – there are actually women who share this belief.

Now, these are the same folks who have proclaimed themselves champions of personal liberty here in the United States of America and are opposed to any regulation on business even when the conduct of that business poses a real and immediate threat to the security and welfare to the entire nation, indeed the entire world, but who see nothing wrong with regulating the hell out of a uterus.  Men have rights. Corporations have rights. Churches have rights. Uteruses have rights. Fetuses have rights. Women have rights only so long as they don’t impinge on the previously mentioned rights.

These are the people who claim to revere the concept of personal responsibility, of self determination, of freedom –  and supposedly the consequences thereof – except when it comes to a woman’s right to decide what is right for herself and her aforementioned uterus.  These people believe that any woman who chooses to accept personal responsibility for her own decision, must not be allowed to make that decision if it conflicts with their religious beliefs – even if the woman in question isn’t an adherent of their religion. 

These are the folks who hysterically scream“fascism!” and “death panels!” and demand the right to decide their own medical decisions for themselves without interference from either their neighbors or the government or anybody else’s church, but somehow believe that God told them to legislate a woman’s healthcare options, and most especially that aforementioned uterus.

These are the folks who think laws governing healthcare that come from the federal government are “communism,” but the exact same directives issued at the state and local level somehow are not.

These are the folks who decry supposed social engineering by their political opposition, but see nothing wrong with attempting to manipulate the population by implementing laws and practices whose only purpose is to publically shame and humiliate any woman who avails herself of a legal medical procedure. Doubtless these are the kind of people who if they had ever read The Scarlet Letter, would see themselves as the smugly self righteous Puritans – but in reality they are the self-hating hypocrite, Reverend Dimmesdale, piously preaching God’s morality and waving the Bible, and with their holy robes carefully clutched over their own shameful brand.

These are the kind of people who hold governmental hearings on women’s healthcare, and don’t allow a single woman to participate on the panel.

These are folks who rage loud and hysterically demand new laws to prevent the bronze age edicts of Middle Eastern religions from being imposed upon the women of America, despite absolutely no evidence in any way shape or form of that happening and Constitutional prohibitions specifically preventing it in the first place, but then vehemently protest and threaten violence when they aren’t allowed to impose the medieval misogyny of a religion from another part of the Middle East upon those very same women while they simultaneously denounce those very same Constitutional protections. 

These are the folks who demand that their own religious icons be posted in American courthouses, and yet somehow completely and blindly fail to understand that if they actually did get their way and American law really was indeed based upon those very same Biblical directives, they would be some of the very first criminals stoned to death in the town square and outside the city gates, Jehovah didn’t differentiate between Democrat and Republican, Liberal and Conservative. There was a time when this land was governed by such laws, note the previously mentioned Nathaniel Hawthorne novel, somehow I seriously doubt many of these people really want to return to that world, most especially including a certain former Speaker of the House, presidential candidate, and serial adulterer – but I digress.

These are the people who actually think that abstinence is a workable form of birth control despite millennia of contrary examples, despite being supposed experts in the human condition, despite the fact their own priests and politicians can’t remain celibate, despite the staggering pandemic numbers of unwanted and unintended pregnancies, and despite the fact that they themselves (and their children) keep coming up pregnant – which probably goes a long way toward explaining why so many of them use birth control, including hormonal birth control, despite their hypocritical call for others to abstain.

These are the folks who would kill, who have killed, to defend a fertilized human egg that has neither divided nor implanted in the uterine wall, but abdicate any and all responsibility for the same child once it’s born. For them, life begins at conception and ends at birth.

These people adamantly reject sexual, marital, and reproductive healthcare recommendations from degreed and accredited American medical experts backed up by literally centuries of scientific advancement and experience, and embrace the palsied iron age godly “wisdom” of an 80-year old holy man in a pointy hat who holds no medical degree, has never entered into any long term sexual relationship let alone marriage and indeed may never have actually had sex with anybody, has never produced children, has never raised a family, lives a privileged and secluded life that has no resemblance to the average American in any way whatsoever, and who claims the moral and ethical high ground despite helming an organization that repeatedly and continually fails to acknowledge or take responsibility for countless heinous acts of systemic abuse of its own children, a man who only last week promoted to senior positions clergy who were directly responsible for perpetuating and enabling and covering up those very same acts, and a man too damned busy with the mote in everybody else’s eye to see the three hundred foot long, thirty foot in diameter, five hundred ton redwood tree lodged up to the rootball in his own eye socket.  Whenever I witness these pointy hat wearing sons of bitches questioning the president’s morality, it makes me want to vomit and I sincerely hope that there is an actual hell of brimstone and ice waiting for these vile fuckers, but I digress yet again.  I also spit on the ground at their feet.

These are the same silly sons of bitches who think that pregnancy resulting from rape is a gift from God.

These are the very same red faced blowhards who, at every single opportunity since the Lyndon Johnson administration, pontificate with relentless fervor against the welfare queens who supposedly do nothing but indiscriminately welp out an endless parade of crack-babies on the taxpayer dole, but now suddenly they’re against birth control.

These are the folks who hold women in utter contempt as fallen sinful creatures, as purveyors of some bullshit made-up concept of original sin, as less than man, as less than corporations, as weak and willful and unclean, but then are afraid that if a couple finds out that the sex of their fetus is female, well, heck they might abort.

And, yes, these are very same folks who think that the government has no authority to require insurance companies to pay for prenatal care or optional ultrasounds in order to ensure the health of a fetus intended to be carried to term, but do think the government should mandate the very same procedure for abortions (Seems to me that if you’re a  Texan, or a Virginian say, and want an expensive ultrasound analysis of your pregnancy for free, even if you’re uninsured (or your insurance company refuses to pay for it), all you have to do is say you’d like an abortion, then “change” your mind after the exam and “decide” do keep the baby – oh well, look at that blurry little blob, you’ve convinced me, Jesus! Be sure to ask for a hardcopy of the picture first, and maybe a video to keep you on the straight and narrow, and maybe some complimentary copies for grandpa and grandma, also how about a cup of coffee and some of those blueberry muffins? Otherwise I might just have to terminate this little bastard. Thanks, cream in the coffee, no sugar. But, as I’m sure you’ve already noted, I digress).

Yes, boggle.

It just boggles my mind.

It boggles my mind that anybody, let alone a woman, would actually propose a law that would require a doctor to jam an ultrasound probe into a woman’s vagina and force her watch video of a blob of tissue that by definition is so underdeveloped that it can’t even be detected by other means, that is so unlike a human being that it requires a specialist to interpret the various parts of the image. It boggles my mind that there is actually a woman on this planet who would actually think for one second that violating any other woman, let alone a traumatized woman who was impregnated through rape or against her will, was in any way whatsoever a moral or ethical or human thing to do.  The horrifying level of gender-hatred and self-loathing it must take to be that woman boggles my mind.

It boggles my mind that a governor, a supposedly educated man charged with the representation of all the citizens of his state – not just the ones with external plumbing or letters of incorporation – would actually even consider signing such an abomination.  And it boggles my mind that anybody, any American, would consider such a man for any elected office, let alone the office of Vice President.

No matter how many times these silly pinched-faced sons of bitches get shot down, they keep coming back. They keep trying to impose their bullshit on the rest of us.

They want us to believe that it isn’t about denying women the right to self-determination.

They want us to believe that it is about the children.

They want us to believe that it isn’t about their religion.

They want us to believe that it’s about the right to life.

Fair enough.

If it’s really about life, about the sanctity of life, if jamming a probe into a woman’s vagina and forcing her to look at her insides in order to exercise her constitutional right under the law is about life,if it’s about that, well then I propose a few amendments.

How about we say that any man attempting to exercise his right to access certain medications, say like Viagra, should have to undergo a thorough and complete medical review to ensure he is healthy enough for extended sexual activity, after all, the natural order of such things, i.e. God’s will, says that he’s not, otherwise he wouldn’t need the man enhancer in the first place would he?  The exam should include an invasive internal ultrasound of his prostrate. Sure jamming a probe up his ass is a completely unnecessary medical procedure, but we can never be too careful when it comes to life, now can we? A man should have to look his prostate in the eye so that he knows what he’s getting into, right?  And, since we’re talking about life here, he should also be tested for all known venereal diseases to ensure the safety of his partner and his potential offspring’s life.  Since certain venereal diseases may be dormant and may take time to manifest and become detectable, there might have to be a lengthy waiting period to ensure total safety of any potential life.

While we’re waiting for the test results, we can require a complete credit check of any man contemplating chemical man enhancement.  After all, should a child result from such artificial congress, the man will have to provide for it – because this is about life and certainly any man who creates life won’t mind if we mandate that he be responsible for it. In fact, this should be a law, knock up a woman and you’re responsible by law, forever, period.  You marry her and you stay married. Period. The cool part is that’s in the Bible.  Hard to argue with the old bible, eh?  Now because this is such a big responsibility, perhaps any man contemplating any activity that might result in life should be forced to view several hours worth of pictures of children, of diapers, of two AM feedings, of chicken pox, and braces, and driving lessons, and last but not least a spread sheet showing the cost to raise a child from implantation to college. 

If a woman must be made aware of the consequences of her own actions, then too should a man. Surely we can all agree to that?

After all, we’re talking about life here, right?

But why stop there?

Life is just getting starting at conception, isn’t it?

And life is sacred. Therefore:

Contemplating a steak? We should make you review a slide show of colorectal cancer and visit a slaughterhouse.  After all, you get sick from eating meat, we might have to pick up your medical bill, that makes your business our business – besides, who’s going to watch out for those kids you made? Better order a salad. Want a drink with your dinner?  Let’s visit an AA meeting first with a side trip to the morgue so that you fully understand the consequences of over indulgence.  Smoke?  No problem, right after you review these microscope slides of diseased lung tissue and visit a couple of emphysema patients.

Want a gun?  Well, then, since this is about the safety of children, of life, you’ll need to review cases of firearm related deaths that happen in the US each year. Now for simplicity’s sake, let’s say you will be only be required to look at a picture of every single child killed by gun violence for the previous twelve months, that’s actual real live children who have been born and are actual living breathing human beings – in 2007, for example, that was three thousand and forty two so you’d better get started.  You’ll need to do that for each weapon you intend to purchase. Because, damn it, this is about protecting life.  For a each additional gun, you can also look at pictures of the doctors shot down by folks who believe in the right to life.

Want to wage war? No problem, first you’ll need to serve in the military on the frontlines, let’s say twelve months in Afghanistan, next you can review pictures of battlefield casualties and dead civilians, and then we’ll be taking a trip to Dover so you can help carry the coffins of returning soldiers down the cargo ramp of the C-17’s, then you can start writing letters to their wives and sweethearts and parents and their children.  Oh, and as long as we’re talking about war, let’s review what you’re going to need to do to use those “enhanced” interrogation techniques…

And finally,

Before attending your next Sunday service, you’ll need to review the church’s history of genocide, complicity in the Holocaust, pedophilia, molestation, and rape. 

Since we’re talking about the children, I mean.